A Year of Stories (Collection Two)

Original Frosted Sugar Fun Explosion

from: Fred Fincher [ff@amalgamatedgoods.cc]

to: David Van Horn [dvh@amalgamatedgoods.cc]

date: Tue, May 3, 2016 at 1:35 PM

subject: A Quick Checkero!

Hey Dave,

Things going OK, buddy? Everything cool at home? The wife good? The kids? I know a new baby can be pretty stressful, when Sheila had our second last year, I was a wrecks for months. I just want you to know, that if you need someone to talk to, my office door is always open.

By the way – I've been looking over that ingredients list you sent over for the new cereal project – management has me doing a little last minute fact checking before I submit the samples to the regs for approval. You should know that this cereal is a pretty big deal for us. The guys over in finance say it'll make or break our quarter, and my career right along with it. Hahahaha.

I'm telling you all this because I noticed a couple of strange additions on the list, not sure if they're supposed to be some kind of joke, but if you could go back and fix them for me, that would be great.

If you have any questions, please let me know.

P.S. I've attached a copy of the list for reference.

ORIGINAL FROSTED SUGAR FUN EXPLOSION

Ingredients: Whole grain wheat, sugar, gelatin, reduced iron, expanded iron, vitamin B6, red 36, partially hydrogenated unicorn oil, sterilized essence of ivory, unsterilized wolf's bladder, riboflavin zinc oxide, folic acid, fluoric acid, hydrogen cyanide, radium, vitamin B12, ground zombie intestine (for freshness).

MAY CONTAIN WHEAT INGREDIENTS

MAY CONTAIN TREE NUTS

MAY CONTAIN RADIOACTIVE ISOTOPES WITH ATOMIC NUMBERS GREATER THAN 93

Do not consume with more than two glasses of alcohol, if you have Celiac's disease, if you have been convicted of a recent felony, or if you're secretly a lycantrophe.

–Fred

from: David Van Horn [dvh@amalgamatedgoods.cc]

to: Fred Fincher [ff@amalgamatedgoods.cc]

date: Tue, May 3, 2016 at 2:09 PM

subject: RE: A Quick Checkero!

Hey Fred!

Thanks for the heads up. I'm doing just great, a new kid to go right alongside my pay cut, what could be better?

Anywho, I know you're a busy guy, so I made the corrections and sent the paperwork off to the regulators.

You were right, there was something weird. Apparently, I had forgotten to put a comma after riboflavin.

Silly me.

Thanks for keeping an eye out!

–David