Psychotic (BVS Lex Luthor x Reader)

chapter twenty

TODAY

"So why. Do. You. Want. To. Hate. Me?"

His figure is shaking. He is grinning ear to ear, his eyes randomly darting around your face.

Psychotic.

You gulp down your words as you try to come up with an answer. How could you say how you feel? How do you feel? Do you even know yourself anymore? Could you look past the anger and fear and regret?

As the events of the last month with Lex go through your mind, you're left with what you've been wanting to forget. Alexander Luthor, Jr., genius billionaire with nothing to his name but his father's company and a legacy he has to protect. Victim of his father's uncontrollable anger. Broken. Deranged. Brillaint. Different. Destroyed by his past and the thoughts that haunt him everyday.

"I... don't."

Lex's face softens. He falls back, his nails digging into the orange fabric on his knees. "What?"

"I don't hate you, Lex," you answer. You're shocked at even yourself. "I want to, gosh--- but I can't. You love me."

He carefully observes you. "I do."

"And you wanted to protect me from what you couldn't protect yourself from," you continue, tears pricking at your red eyes.

"Yes."

"Oh gosh, Lex---" You sob, your hand covering your mouth. Your shoulder shake with every sharp intake of breath, every cough that escapes your quivering lips. "Oh gosh... Lex..."

He leans forward again. "I... don't. Don't cry."

"I'm just sorry," you gasp. "I would give anything to have done better for you. I could've taken you to a counselor, a therapist... I could've been there more for you. Then you wouldn't be a --- a murderer!"

He chuckles darkly and shakes his head. You slowly look at him. His laughter chills your bones. "Oh, my dear, I was a murderer far before I ever laid eyes on you."

Your blood runs cold. You can feel your fingertips freeze. Your feet are glued to the floor. You remember the headlines of Mr. Luthor's mysterious death.

"Your father," you say in realization. He looks down. "You were only sixteen."

"And I felt that his reign was far long enough," he says bitterly. "So I bribed one of our personal chefs to slip something into his food and called it an overdose of sorts. He knew it was me. I hope he did."

You shiver. "Lex..."

"He would beat me," he whispers angrily. "Every day that bottle of liquor would be drained and he would stumble out of his office with his fists clenched and his words slurred. And I was the one to blame. For my mother, for holding him back, for making him lose it all --- it was me. And he made me pay for it. Hm! He seemed to forget that I was his son. But ironically, I never forgot that he was my father. Even as I watched him die."

Tears continue to stream. You open your mouth and shake your head. The words stumble out messily, your tongue refusing to work right. "I... I'm sorry."

"But you," he whispers. "You were so different. The moment I saw you at that party I knew that you were going to be mine. I had to have you. And when you were hurt that night... something changed. I realized that the way I was going with my plans wasn't going to save you. Hm, hm, hm. No, no, no. Lois wasn't enough for Clark."

"Stop," you plead. You close your eyes. "Just tell me why I wasn't enough for you."

"I need power," he says. "I'm tired of false gods holding all of the power and not using it to save the people who need it. Clark Kent sealed his fate when you were left in the hands of that monster."

You open your eyes. "Lex, not only was his fate sealed, but so was yours. So was mine." You reach into your bag and grab a tissue, then proceed to wipe your face.

The makeup that you so carefully caked onto your face comes off easily. You watch Lex's eyes widen as he takes in the bruises. All from men and women that hated you for the death of their Superman.

"I lost my job at the Daily Planet, Lex," you say. "I can't even leave my apartment without getting beat up. People scream from below my windows, begging me to leave or die. You ruined my life. And you know what's funny? I thought that you were the one making it better. I was wrong. I'm leaving Metropolis, Lex. I don't want to end this, but it's inevitable. I'm sorry, Lex---"

His reaction frightens you. He starts to shake again, his entire body quivering harder with each second. "No, no, no, no. No! No! No!" You watch in fear as he grips the edge of the table. He starts to rock, his eyes flickering everywhere as his voice rises with each shriek. "No! No, no, no! No!"

The door behind him opens and two officers run in. "All right, Luthor, you've had enough." He grab his arms and try to pry him away from the window. You stand up and put your hand on the glass, your other hand clutching the phone.

"Lex! Lex! Stop, I'm here! Lex!"

He looks up at you and his screaming stops. He grabs the phone tighter as the cop tries to pull it from him. "The bell has been rung! He's coming! Revenge! You'll get revenge! I'll --- I'll get revenge! They'll regret hurting you, my love, I swear to it!" The phone clatters to the floor.

Lex is pulled away, his legs refusing to work with the officers. He keeps his eyes going everywhere. You smack your palm against the glass.

"Lex!" you scream, wanting his attention. "Lex!"

Finally, he looks at you.

"I love you!" you shout. He doesn't respond for a moment, and you're afraid that he didn't hear you. You're ready to shout it again when he mouths it.

"I love you, too."

And then he's gone.

end.