The Hilarious Romance Between The Brute and The Flea

A Huge Misunderstanding

Chapter Text

Izaya wasn't sure if he was dreaming. To be more specific, he wasn't sure if he was stuck in the middle of a Freddy Kruger nightmare. The feel of much too sweet lips on his own was very foreign. Perhaps he could forgive this, though. If it wasn't the monster. Yes, the damn brute was in the middle of kissing him at this very moment! Izaya stared at Shizuo in absolute shock, mind racing with thousands of murderous thoughts.

Is he--no, this must be a mistake!

Why would he--?

SINCE WHEN IS THIS GUY INTO MEN?!

Izaya watched in terror as Shizuo pulled him in close, the familiar smell of cigarettes wrapping around him. He was too confused appalled to even push the asshole away! Shizuo's eyes were closed, face in an absolute state of bliss as his tongue eagerly began to explore the small raven's mouth. Arms brought Izaya in closer so that he was practically sitting on the blonde's lap. After a few minutes of furiously ranting inwardly, Izaya was about to tell the monster off until he heard a suspicious sound erupt from said beast's throat. Two hands slammed into Shizuo's chest and he luckily lurched backwards, too surprised to even brace himself. Mask completely off, Izaya growled and immediately a flash of silver reflected through the air as the informant pressed his trademark switchblade against Shizuo's neck.

"What the absolute fuck was that?!" Izaya screeched, red eyes blazing with the flames of Hell. Shizuo stared at the enraged flea, confused to no end.

"I kissed you?" He replied bluntly, tipping his head to the side. Wasn't Izaya in love with him? Shizuo frowned, seeing the informant tremble with obvious disgust. He couldn't understand. Granted, Shizuo never understood went on in that guy's head. Was Izaya just being a tsundere? The blonde tipped his head, thinking over his earlier discussions with Erika on different types of deres. She had said that Izaya was a definite tsundere or...himedere was it? Still, this seemed too much even for the louse. Shizuo had never seen him so upset before and he felt briefly guilty. Did I kiss him the wrong way?

Izaya had no idea what was going on with the brute and that made him go livid. "You can't just kiss me! What the hell, you monster?! First you say you want to be friends with me now all the sudden you're sexually assaulting me?! I hate you! There's a reason I said I didn't want to fight with you anymore and that's because you're simply a waste of my precious time! Leave me alone!" He hissed.

Shizuo went still, feeling like he'd been dunked in cold water. What? The flea--the Flea had said-! Izaya didn't want this? Then why had he agreed to go to Russia Sushi with him in the first place....Oh shit.

At the same time Izaya and Shizuo both suddenly remembered that they were indeed still in public. Hesitantly, they turned their heads. Everyone in the restaurant had their jaws hung open, staring blankly at the two strongest men in Ikebukuro. Spilled drinks wet the floor and food burned in the kitchen. Simon was the only one brave enough to start smiling and serving again.

Izaya didn't wait for Shizuo's reply, instead flipping his hood up and running out of the restaurant. Shizuo watched him leave, not following. All he knew was that he had to feel those soft lips on his once more.