The Hilarious Romance Between The Brute and The Flea

Nightmares

He was running down an empty alley, fear coursing through his tiny body. Or was it excitement? Another scream of pure fury rang out behind the fleeing raven. He didn't have to look back. If he did it would only confirm what he already was aware of. The blond brute was chasing after him with astounding speed, for once keeping up with the slippery snake. He grabbed hold of an emergency ladder that was bolted to a building wall, pushing up to escape the monster. A hand grabbed hold of the informant's wrist, tugging with unreal strength and bringing him back to the ground. Before the shocked raven could process a single thought his rival slammed him against the dirty alley wall, right beside the escape ladder.

Staring up at his triumphant opponent, he waited for the end. Instead he felt soft lips press against his own in an instant. The stunned simply began to smile and opened his own mouth, allowing the blond entry. He let out a soft moan as the bodyguard pulled on his lip playfully and feeling hands snake down to the belt holding his pants. Lust seeped out of every pore in the smaller man's body as he waited impatiently.

"Shizu-chan..."

Izaya shot out from under his covers, chest heaving as he took in huge gulps of air. Sweat dropped down his forehead and he looked down in dismay to see his shirt soaked from perspiration.

"What...the hell was that?" He shakily glanced over at his clock, seeing it was only 3:46 a.m. The utterly horrified brunet immediately turned on his lap and tried to process the absurd dream nightmare he had just been forced to undergo. The informant sighed and got out of bed, already knowing that he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep after that freak show. He made his way into his bathroom, turning on the shower and setting it to cold in hopes of waking himself up even if by just a little bit.

The fear-struck raven recalled the images of his dream and hopped into the shower, shaking his head in a desperate attempt to rid himself of every and all memories of it. It was only then did Izaya realize he had a certain problem in his area down below.

What the fuck was wrong with him?

Izaya was not sexually active and he had never experienced a wet dream before. While the informant tried to come up with a possible explanation for all of this, the only reason he could think of was Shizuo kissing him at Russia Sushi.

However, that made no sense!

Many considered the small raven to be a playboy and more than one had gone up to him asking if they could "hook up". Nothing disgusted Izaya more and he prided himself in remaining pure to this very day.

Yes, Izaya was a 25 year old virgin. Who would've thought Kishitani Shinra would be with someone before the very handsome informant?

Well, it could be taken into account that his lover was a headless mythical creature who almost everyone feared.

Izaya sighed and got out of the shower after cleaning himself up, his brain a fuddled mushy mess. This wasn't how it was supposed to be! He couldn't fall to petty human problems such as these.

He was above this!

For crying out loud, he was Orihara Izaya!

Izaya was the closest out of everyone to going to Valhalla. He was a God! So how on earth could the stupid, unpredictable, annoying, and troublesome Heiwajima Shizuo reduce him to this pathetic state?!

The very perturbed informant made his way downstairs and over to his computer, sitting down in his chair. Looking through the chat rooms, Izaya noticed only Masaomi Kida was on. With a heavy sigh, Izaya entered the private chat with him in hopes of messing with the young blond to lift up his spirits.

-Private Mode-

Kanra: Why Kida, how rebellious being up this late at night!

Bakyura: Leave me alone, perv.

Kanra: How rude! As if you know what I do in my free time~

Bakyura: I know you force good guys to kiss you in public. Isn't that reason enough?

Kanra: You have no proof of that. For your information, Shizu-chan kissed me. Not the other way around.

Bakyura: I'm supposed to believe that? You're pathetic, Izaya-san. See, I believe you were so desperate for someone to love you that you tricked him. Makes sense, doesn't it?

Kanra: I don't need something as human as love. My love for humans is enough as it transcends every other emotion!

Bakyura: So you're saying you haven't ever been lonely?

Kanra: That's correct~! :D

Bakyura: Then do tell, why are you speaking with me right now?

Kanra: ...

Bakyura: I hate your guts and want you dead. I'm not the only one either. It makes sense that you're desperate enough to try and converse with a teenager.

Kanra: A teenager who happens to be a gang leader. You're the one who got involved with me, Kida. Don't be so sore over the past!

Bakyura: Are you not the one saying you control all the strings like a puppeteer? You're lonely, Izaya-san. You have no one.

Kanra: I don't need anyone!

Bakyura: Then stop messing with Shizuo-san and leave the city alone. Stop using people as playthings just because you're all alone in this world. Grow up.

Kanra: Brat.

-Kanra has left the conversation-

Izaya hissed in annoyance and shut his computer down immediately. How dare he?! Izaya was a God! No one could talk to him like that. Not to mention how everything Kida said was completely wrong. The tiny raven rubbed his eyes. Were his allergies starting up? No, it wasn't spring or fall. His red orbs watered and Izaya concluded it to be the dust.

Of course it was.

Izaya had no one, nor did he need someone.