Too Much Hate

Chapter 14

(Jen’s POV)

After Justin and I returned home from our shopping trip I seen Nick’s car in the driveway.

“What the fuck is he doing here?” I cursed.

“Baby,” he said, “It’s yoru brother. He just wants to check in.”

“Justy,” I said, ‘He’s the reason we lost our baby! I don’t care what he wants.”

“Baby,” he said, taking my chin in his hand, “I love you and I am write here to help you.”

I nodded, “Thank you, baby!” We got out and see Nick get out of his.

“Jennifer, it’s time to come home,” Nick said, grabbing me by the arm,“Enough of this foolishness.”

“Get your hands off her,” Justin said.

“This doesn’t concern you Bieber!” Nick said.

“Fine! LET GO OF ME!” I said, shaking him off. Nick glared at me.

“Sis, it’s enough, it’s time to come home,” he said.

“Nick,” I said, trying to stay calm, ‘YOU are the reason I’m here. You hurt me bad enough to make me lose my baby. So where the fuck do you get off, telling me I’m being foolish.” He looked down at his feet, were those tears?

“Jen, I’m sorry,” he said, “I was upset, but I never wanted that. I didn’t want you to lose it.”

“Well I did,” I sad, crying, “I lost my baby BECAUSE OF YOU!” I pushed him hard away from me, causing me to stumble. This was it. I didn’t need to cut I needed to vent, “YOU ARE MY BROTHER! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SUPPORT ME! YOU SON OF A BITCH! I HATE YOU! YOU KILLED MY BABY! YOU KILLED ME!!!!!!!” With that I collapsed into his arms, trying to be angry and pounding my fists against his chest, but I was sobbing. I felt him pick me up and carry me into the house.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, cuddling to him.

“No, it’s okay, you have every right to be furious with me,” Nick said.

I nodded, “I want to be, but I can’t. I love you Nicky.” He hugged me.

“I’m still sorry,” he said. I nodded and Justin came in, walking past us.

“Justin?” I said, sitting up.

“I can’t,” he said, ‘I can’t forgive him yet. Maybe you should go home.” With that he walked away, leaving me with Nick. Did he just kick me out? WTF?!?!?!

I woke at my parent’s house about a week after Justin kicked me out. Was he realy doing this to me again. Because I am more forgiving than him? I gave him everything, and he just tossed me aside. I was so sick of his drama and his in securities. I don’t give 3rd chances, but damn him and his beautiful face and those amazing brown eyes.

They were still all I saw when I closed my eyes. I couldn’t help but miss him wishing he would stop being so foolish. I hated him, but at the same time he stirred in my heart with every beat it took. Every breath I took seemed strained. Forbidden Love? Yes, so what shall I do?

Beg for his forgiveness, and if he doesn’t take me with his whole heart I shall leave this place, run away, end it for good. Obsession yes? But to quote Shakespeare:

But love is blind, and lovers cannot see

The pretty follies that themselves commit.

William Shakespeare, "The Merchant of Venice"

Which means, yes love is blind, but two people who are so in love don’t care that their love may end in destruction. So what was I going to do? Beg for him to accept me back into my heart, and if he doesn’t I shall end it all. I can not and WILL NOT live without him. I refuse! So if my first and only true love turns me away I shall take my life into my own hands and possibly end it. So my life truly rests in Justin’s hands.

“Jen?” I heard, as I contemplated, “It’s Joey, can I come in?” I moved my notebook with my letter and called for him to come in!

“What’s up?” I asked.

“Are you okay?” he asked. I nodded.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said, “Why do you ask?”

“You seem distant, absent, lost,” he said.

“I’m fine!” I said, hugging him, “I promise!” He smiled.

“Okay, but I’m here okay!” he said.

“I know,” I said, “You know I love you, right. Forever and Ever!” He smiled.

“Of course, I love you too,” he said, “I don’t know what I’d do with out you!” I had to think to myself, Damn Joe! Now you tell me this, but I was gonna break his heart if Justin broke mine. Little did he know in a couple days I may not be here.