The Apartment

Chapter 12

Cara 

I woke to voices and the sound of a door closing behind them. As soon as they left I opened my eyes examining the room, it was all white and smelled of formaldehyde. I looked down at my arms and saw needles attached to my wrist as well as a little heart monitor thing attached to my finger and bandages on both of them. My wrists throbbed as I moved them, then I realized that I was in the hospital, but how did I get here?

"You're awake" I turned my head to my left and saw demi sitting with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. Her hair was a mess and that led me to believe that she had been here for awhile, but why am I here? "What happened." I asked looking around, whatever they gave me wow was it strong I see three of everything.  "Oh you don't remember?" she asked and I shook my head slowly confused. "You tried to kill yourself last night." 

I did what, and then suddenly everything came back to me, all in flashes and all at once. "Oh" was all I said holding my pounding head remembering everything all at once like that was over whelming and I didn't know how I was supposed to react especially in front of her. I wanted to cry that is all I ever wanted to do but instead I just hold things in and bottle them up until the come out like last night and I do something crazy. 

I closed my eyes again and started to think. I knew Jenn was here I could feel it, she was the one who called the ambulance so she has to be here. She might care at least I think she does. I wouldn't know what to do if she did care."Who else is here?" I asked her still with my eyes closed adjusting the very uncomfortable hospital bed adjusting the pillows, to help my stiff back.

"Me Maddie and Jenn we've all been here since last night when you were admitted." I slightly nodded in response and demi and I sat in silence until the door opened. In that moment I opened my eyes and lifted my head to see who It was. It's just the doctor her appearance made her seem like she was a nice person, lets hope she lives up to that and lets me leave this place soon. "Oh my  your awake I thought you'd be out for a little while longer, how are you feeling" she asked me walking over to the monitors pulling out her pen writing stuff down on her clip board. 

"I'm doing okay" I lied trying not to let the drugs get the best of my vocabulary. "That's good, now we need to talk about releasing you." she pulled up a chair and sat across from me. "When do you think she'll be released" Demi asked sitting up in her chair removing the blanket from her shoulders, great so suddenly she cares. "She could be released right now if she agree's to go to therapy twice a week and has someone watching over her everyday so she dosent do anything otherwise we'll have to keep her for awhile." The lady looked to me and waited for my answer.

I pondered it in my head for second, it would be nice to get away for a while but they'd probably never let me go outside, but who would stay with me 24/7 seven days a week in the first place. I don't know everything is still messed up inside my head, either way its a lose lose for me."Well I don't have anyone that would watch me so-" I struggled to make my lips move along with the words as demi cut me off "I think I can think of one person." The doctor nodded.

"Ok well now all I need is someone to sign the release papers and then you're all set." Demi stood up and left with the doctor indicating she was signing the papers. The only thing I didn't understand was who was gonna "watch" me. It definitely wasn't gonna be demi because she is going back to Texas soon with maddie. There was a knock at the door followed by it slowly being opened. I saw Jenn peak her head through and seeing me awake she fully opened the door and rushed over to the right side of my bed.

She grabbed my hand frantically asking me if I was ok and if I needed anything. All I could do was stare at her as she looked at me waiting for me to say something back, but all I could do was stare. She was so beautiful her face the way her eyebrows scrunch together in worry while her eyes were filled with concern as she looked over my face. "I'm okay" I tell her but she shook her head. "Don't you dare lie to me Cara lovato." Her voice cracked and her eyes started glazing over, she looked down tightening her grip on my hand.

"Hey look at me." Her head raised and she looked at me once again. "I'm fine." "No Cara you could have died, you can't do that I was scared don't ever do that again." she gently caressed my bandaged cuts with her thumb, she  pressed a little to hard and I flinched and pulled my arm away. "Sorry" she said moving her hand away. "Can I ask you something?" She nodded pulling up a chair making sure she was facing me. 

"Why do you care so much about me." I was nervous asking her this question I was scared and should have debated about it more in my head, but it just slipped out. I mean we did kiss, but I thought she was straight. She might have just been experimenting and could have meant nothing to her, and that would completely and utterly suck because that kiss meant everything to me. 

"Its because I-" she trailed off not finishing the sentence. Why was she hesitating she should just say it so the pain will be over quick like tearing off a band-aid. "You what?" she played with her hands in her lap. "I....um." Now I was getting annoyed and I just wanted her to tell me what she thought. "You, what jenn, just say it and get it over with, just say that the kiss meant nothing to you, just say that you don't care and let me go back to living my life." I'm crossed between two worlds. 

I want her to care, but at the same time I don't because I know caring gets you hurt. No matter what you do no matter how much you try caring someone will get you worse than you started  before you met that person. "What the hell are you talking about." she looked shocked and rather offended. "I care about you, you have no Idea how much I care." I saw a tear roll down her cheek and land on her hand. She looked at me and I saw her eyes filled with tears.

"You honestly think that kiss meant nothing to me, because that's just funny. I know you felt it too and don't pretend for one second that you didn't. All these feeling are all mixed up inside my brain but one this is for sure." She took a deep breath and looked at me. "I love you Cara."