Best Quotes EVER!

5. Penny

(Sheldon knocks on Penny's door three times)

Penny: Who do we love?

Sheldon: Penny. '(Knocks 3 times)

Penny: Who do we love?

Sheldon: Penny. (Knocks 3 times)

Penny: Who do we love?

Sheldon: Penny.

Sheldon: Now remember, you were given powerful pain medication and a muscle relaxer, so don't operate heavy machinery, and try not to choke on your own drool.

*Sheldon is is about to leave.*

Penny: Wait! You have to help me get into bed. (laughs) "Sheldon has to help me get into bed". Bet you thought I'd never say that!

Sheldon: Yes. Charmed, your drug-addled candour knows no bounds.

*Sheldon follows her to her room after shutting the door. He pulls down the covers to help Penny into bed.*

Penny: You know people think you are this weird robot man who's so annoying all the time and you totally are. But then it's like that movie Wall-E at the end. You're so full of love and you can save a plant and get fat people out of their floaty chairs.

Sheldon: Thats a fairly laboured metaphor but I appreciate the sentiment behind it.

Penny: Sing 'Soft Kitty' to me.

Sheldon: 'Soft kitty' is for when you're sick, you're not sick.

Penny: Injured and drugged is a kind of sick.

Sheldon: (At The Cheesecake Factory) Who do I speak to about permanently reserving this table?

Penny: I don't know, a psychiatrist?

Leonard: A long time ago, I made a deal with Howard involving you.

Penny: Okay, I don't know where this is going, but tread carefully, because this may be the last conversation we ever have.

Penny: They aren't like other guys. They're Special

Alicia: Okay, they're special and..?

Penny: Well let's see how can I explain this. Um. They don't know how to use their shields.

Alicia: Shields?

Penny: Yeah, You know like in Star Trek and you're in battle, and you raise the shields.

*Realizing what she said* Where the hell did that come from?

"So that means, you're a doctor, you're a doctor, you're a doctor, you're a doctor and ... Howard you know a lot of doctors."

(To Raj) "Really still can't talk to me?"

(Penny talking to Sheldon & Howard at the Cheesecake Factory Bar.)

Penny: Hey, what you guys doing here?

Howard: We're grown men we drink at bars.

Penny: No and no.

(to Howard) Everything okay with you and Bernadette?

Howard: Oh yeah, SURE.

Penny: (to Sheldon) You and Amy? Good?

Sheldon: Oh, better than good.

Penny: You know those girls text me every detail of their lives as it happens?

Howard: I'm not signing a pre-nup.

Penny: All right Howard Wolowitz listen up! You sign anything she puts in front of you. Because you are the luckiest man alive if you let her go there is NO way you can find anyone else. Speaking on behalf of all women, it's not going to happen - we had a meeting.

Howard: According to Alicia's Facebook page, she's hooking up with one of the producers on CSI.

Penny: Dead whore on TV, live one in real life.

Penny: Did Sheldon change the Wi-Fi password again?

Leonard: Yeah, it's "Penny already eats our food she can pay for Wi-Fi". No spaces.

Penny: You wanna turn yourself into some sort of robot?

Sheldon: Essentially, yes.

Penny: Okay, here's my question: Didn't you already do that?

Sheldon: (Realizing Penny got him sick) It was you ... I touched you!

Penny: Happy Valentines Day!

Raj: (kind of a squeak)Ooo!

Penny: What's the matter, Lassie? Did Timmy fall down the well?

Penny: Honey, have you ever run before?

Sheldon: Certainly. I've run from bullies, dogs, angry chickens and one particularly persistent PE teacher determined to bend me over and give me a scoliosis test.

"What up, Shel-bot?"

Sheldon: This is banana bread.

Penny: This is a door knob.

(To Leonard) "Hey! Shouldn't you be out with your gang spray painting equations on the sides of buildings?"

Sheldon: Aha, the thing about tomatoes, I think you will really enjoy this, is that they are shelved with the vegetables but they are technically a fruit.

Penny: Intresting.

Sheldon: Isn't it!

Penny: No, I mean what you find enjoyable.

Penny: That's the saddest thing I've ever heard.

Howard: (to Leonard) Go ahead. Tell her about your senior prom.