Words of a Bully

Wednesday, November 18th

She's gone. 

She tried to say sorry to Justin. He completely ignored her. Nothing had ever made me happier for him, prouder for him. He was able to be strong through this. 

Alex and I had both damaged Justin. He doesn't know how much of it was me. He doesn't know any of it was me. Soon he will. And he will know how hard it was for me to do that to him. 

But I did it any way. 

How he is now? That's not my fault. Thigns would have been fine if Alex had just sat there and taken him lecturing her. I didn't realize that. I thought that he would be the one to end it. 

Now I realize I was wrong. The plan still worked, but with a different effect. I was sure that Alex would be the one hurting. I was sure that Justin would be ab le to walk away from this situation, leaving her in the dust, a broken mess. 

It was the opposite. 

And now is when I see the consequences of my actions. When Alex said goodbye to all of us, we all stood still, not saying anything. She looked frusterated, but she just rolled her eyes and said, "Whatever." 

She was about to go out the front door, and never see any of us again, but then she turned, hesitant. 

"I have to talk to you, Cassandra." 

My legs were stiff as I walked towards her. I followed her out the door. 

"I know it was you. You left the notes at my locker. Jamie told me." 

I didn't have the reaction that I thought I would. I did feel slightly bitter towards Jamie. She said herself that Alex didn't have to know. But now? I honestly didn't care how Alex felt. She was just as wrong as me at this point. 

"Yes. Is that all?" 

"No. Why did you do it?" 

"I think you know." 

"I do. I thought you were jealous. Everyone always seems to be jealous of me, don't they?" 

"I guess, Alex. That doesn't make you a better person." 

"You think you're so great-" 

"No, you think you're great. I realize what I did was wrong. You don't." 

"You broke Justin's heart, not me!" she shrieked. 

"No. You tipped over the dominoes. I just set them up for you," I quoted. 

She stared at me for a short moment. "I thought you were my friend." 

"I never liked you." The words were bitter and harsh. It was true. I had never liked her. Now I had a reason to hate her. 

"Bye." 

"Bye." 

I watched her walk away, shaking her hips as she went. Her parents' blue car that I recognized from church was waiting for her. She got in the back seat and slammed the door. They drove past me. The windows were rolled down. I saw a hand stick out of the back window, Alex's hand. She flipped me off. 

I walked home.

 It's over.