is it....LOVE!?

Thirty three

Rosalind

I tried alright, but I still couldn't get him off my mind and that kiss he gave me before I entered my room, I could hardly think of anything else.
Though he nearly ruined my evening as he brought up the you don't have to leave us thing.
I couldn't do that to myself and my boys. An emotionally detached mom was the last thing they needed.

I admit being attracted to Jake and his new attitude towards me didn't help either but I couldn't build a home on the basis of a one sided attraction.
All the dates and roses and sweetness and attention we're in a bid to convince me to stay.

I could stay, for Scott and Carter...
I was seriously considering it, especially when I image how life would've been without mom or growing up with the knowledge that she was paid to have me and leave, sure it would've been traumatic.

I wanted to believe what Mrs Montero told me the other day, about Jake caring about me but the thought died when he said I didn't have to leave.

"Mama... "
Carter whimpered. I'd just managed to put him to sleep after Scott.
He was unusually restless and quite cranky.
I dragged myself from the lone couch in their room and went to pick him up.
His stomach was really flat. I knew he was hungry but he wouldn't eat anything.
"I wish I was the one in so much discomfort and not you."

I sat down and settled him on my lap.
I went through the process of checking his body again, I checked his ears, nostril, eyes, I peeled off his shirt and shorts and panties. Still nothing, I couldn't find anything wrong with him.

"Baby please tell me where it hurts, I'll make it better."
I begged, tears stinging the back of my eyes as I applied a little pressure on his stomach but he didn't flinch away.
No mother in her right mind would be happy to see her one year and ten months old baby in distress.

I leaned and listened to his heartbeat. Normal.

Oh God, Carter please give me a hint.
"I'm worried about you, please tell me you love me. "
Yeah, he could do that effortlessly but I wanted to check out his mouth.

"I love you Cart."
I tried my best smile. Thankfully, he smiled back.
"Ah yuv you mommy...."
He drawled.
I saw it, in his mouth, new pair of teeth was trying to surface and it made his gum swollen.

No wonder he wouldn't eat anything, only asking for water. Tata.. And not talking like he always does.
I sighed in relief, it was normal. I just had to give him something warm and fluid. I put his clothes back on and threw on a something to keep him warm on it.

I used the pouch to strap him to myself.

"Don't worry, I'll fix you something to eat before bed okay,"
He nodded and laid his head on my chest.

I hurried downstairs to the kitchen.
I had to do this before Jake returned, it was almost midnight.
It's been late nights of doing whatever since the day he asked me to stay.

"Mama, cott e peeping?"
I nodded.
"Yes, your brother is asleep."
I answered, as I took one tin of his baby cereal.
We'll try this first.
I took one tinny plate and spoon, poured hot water in it and adjusted the temperature until I got what I wanted.

I didn't notice the figure standing at the doorway, watching us until I reached to unstrap Carter's pouch.

"Is everything alright?"
Jake asked, stepping into the kitchen.