a/n this really isn't like a song one shot, but like a story based off a song.
Sorry if I write a lot of these. I love this panic! song so much ahhh.
prompt: Dan gets angry at Phil for almost outing them in a livestream, and threatens to ruin their relationship, but Dan realizes he's being an ass and tries to apologize, but Phil lowkey ignores him. Dan realizes Phil is his everything, and needs to tell him that.
Triggers: brief mention of cutting, angst
Dan's P.O.V
"Are you seriously that stupid, Phil? You could have outed us!" He groaned. "Dan, calm down. Literally, all I did was touch your hair. And then you flipped out and ended the vyou." I rolled my eyes. "Well, you need to be more careful." He laughed. "Why don't we just come out? It'll be simpler for us, the fans, our family. You always act like you don't wanna be together. Do you really want to be a thing, Dan?" I shook my head, angered and flustered. "Did I even say that, Phil? I don't think "break up" ever left my mouth. "It didn't leave mine either. You are such a crybaby sometimes." I let out a groan of frustration. "I'm the crybaby?" He laughed. "You act like it."
(a/n i don't know why but i made Phil such a sav)
"W-well, I'm not! I'm going to my room." He laughed. "Do you want me to warm you up a bottle?" I honestly had no comebacks left. "I am not a baby!" I reached my room and slammed the door." What did I do wrong? Was I crybaby?" I bit my lip and stared at the floor. "I just don't know what to do. I love Phil so much, and I just don't want to hurt us. Our relationship. I don't want to hurt him, to be more precise. Maybe I should apologize. I was being a stubborn ass and flipped out over a dumb thing. The fans are gonna be suspicious anyways about how fast I ended that livestream. You know what, I'm gonna apologize." I looked over and realized I just had a full blown conversation with my haru pillow.
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I walked back out to the lounge, to find Phil in the same spot he was after our fight. I sat down in the sofa crease, but instead of leaning back, I was sat up straight. "Hey." He wouldn't even look at me. "I'm, uh, sorry about earlier. I was acting like sort of an ass." Phil let out a mm-hmm and mumbled under his breath "Yeah, sort of." He let out a light laugh and picked up and his laptop and walked to his room. "Where are you going?" He continued walking to his room, as I followed. "To my room, dumbass. It's almost 10 (22.00). I'm tired." I bit my lip. "Really? It's so early. And we sleep together anyways, so.." I stood in the doorway as he laughed. "Not tonight."
He closed the door on my face. I slid down to the ground, leaning against his door. "Phil, please let me in. I just want to talk to you." I spoke, mouth pressed to the door. "Well, I don't. Goodnight, Dan." I thought rushed through my head. "Who's being the baby now?" I knocked on the door a few times. "Let me in. Please? Please? Please?" I felt like I was I in the beginning of the movie, Frozen. "The headphones are going in, Dan. You are like living with a nine-year old." I was speechless. So many emotions were buzzing through me. So many horrible feelings. I felt my eyesight slowly fade, and my eyes closed. Silence.
I felt like I had been woken up in another world. I looked around my new area and saw I was in my old bedroom. It was so quiet. I walked around my house, and saw it was empty. There was literally no sign of life anywhere. I felt my phone buzz, which was now an Iphone 3G. The date at the top of the screen read "October 19th, 2009."
No.
This was the very first day Phil and I met. I looked at the text that I had received. It was sent by Phil. "Hey! I'm on my way. Can't wait to meet you for the first time <3" I blinked, and the realized I was now at the train station. I saw someone with jet black hair and dazzling blue eyes across the way. "Dan!" He reached out for a hug and I gave one back. "Hello!" I felt him take my hand, and drag me through crowds of people. "Where are we going?" I asked, as he turned around with a smile. "The Manchester Eye." Minutes passed by of just seeing memories. Skype calls, guitar hero. We reached the line and our eyes connected. "You're amazing in real life." I felt his hand swoop and touch my fringe, then down to my cheek. The exact same way Phil touched it earlier on the live show. This whole moment was rushing so fast. We were already seated in the ride, on our way to the top. Phil smiled at Dan, an then took a speaker out of his backpack and connected his phone. "This song, it remind me of you, Dan. I just want you to know whenever you feel sad or angry or feel like you want to hurt yourself again, listen to this okay?" That's when it hit me for a moment. I looked at my arm for a moment. that was lightly laced with small scars and newer cuts.
"O-okay. What's it called?" He began to play it as we reached the top. "Always."
The music began, very soft, very light.
"When the world gets too heavy,
put it on my back.
I'll be your levy.
You are taking me apart like glue on a get well card."
His striking blue eyes stared into mine. "You are so beautiful, gorgeous honestly. You are just so amazing." I laughed. "Well, no. You are. Right, Amazing Phil?" I giggled and he smiled. "You couldn't be any more adorable, could you?"
"It was always you,
falling for me,
now there's always time
calling for me,
I'm the light blinking at the end of the road,
blink back to let me know."
That's when it hit me. "It was always you, Phil. It'll always be you. You mean so much to me, and I don't even want to lose you." He smiled, and then it faded. "It'll always be what, Dan?" I looked at him with pure confusion, and maybe some horror. "It'll always be you, Phil. Am I speaking loud enough?" He shook his head. "Clearer, please. Or maybe open your eyes or wake up, maybe." A wave of insecurity hit me. This was a dream. Phil was a dream. I'm just starting over.I never met Phil. I could already hear doctors screaming at me "Phil isn't real, Dan."
"Dan, wake up." I wearily opened my eyes. I saw my flatmate at eye to eye level with me, probably more confused than me. "Phil! You're real!" I reached over and pulled him into a hug. "Of course I am. What has gotten into you, silly?" I sighed. "I'm sorry for being a huge ass earlier. I was just scared of what people would think and-" He pulled me into his side. "Hey, it's okay. I'm sorry about being a dick and then getting really stubborn over it. It's just that, I, well, I love you so much, Dan. I wouldn't ever want to lose you." I smiled. "I love you, too. Please never forget that, okay?" He nodded as I let out a yawn. "Never. And how about we go to bed? In my room?" I nodded as he smiled. "Yes, I'd love to." He helped me out of my awkward on the side of the wall position.
"Dan, before we go to sleep, what were you mumbling? I came out to check out on you and you were talking on and on. It had to do something with Always or something." I checked my sweatpants for my phone, and felt nothing. "Can I borrow your phone real quick? Mine is missing." He handed me the larger device. Thank god it wasn't a 3G. I googled "Always" and besides all the feminine product brands, I found it was a Panic! at the Disco song. "Phil, look at me." I grabbed his shoulders and looked into his dazzling blue eyes, just like in the dream. "Listen to this song whenever you feel lost or sad or miss me, okay?" He nodded, and I began to play the familiar melody. I got in the bed and Phil wrapped his arms around me. I guess I was little spoon tonight.
"I'm a fly that's trapped
in a web,
But, I'm thinking my spiders dead.
Lonely, little life
I could kid myself,
thinking that i'm fine."
"Danny, you are freezing. Come get more under the blanket." I snuggled into his chest, and could feel his warm breaths on my neck. "You are so beautiful, babe. So free."
"It was always you,
falling for me.
Now there's always time,
calling for me.
I'm the blinking light at the end of the tunnel,
blink back to let me know."
The song ended, and I handed Phil his phone back. I cuddled his arms when they returned, snuggling up in the warmth of his arms. "Phil?" I asked, as he answered with a soft "Yes?" "Do you really think I'm a baby?" He laughed. "You're my baby, and that's all that matters." I smiled, and played with his hands for a moment. I last thing I let myself mumble before fading off back to sleep was "It will always be you."
