Genre: Romance, LGBT+
Rating: PG-13
Note: I am critiquing this story as it was when I started (a few days ago), not taking into account any edits since then.
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I. OPENING
1) Cover
The cover itself looks great, in my opinion. The colors are consistent and complementary, and the font placement and style seems appropriate for the topic. It portrays as an obvious homosexual romance, which is fine if that's the air you intended to put off. I'm not sure how eye-popping or gaze-drawing it is, especially for a site that shows only small icon versions of the covers, but a full sized version would look beautiful, I'm sure.
EDIT: I think the old cover was a bit more attention-grabbing than the new one because it was brighter, though the seeming theme of the new one might attract more readers by the suggested subject matter.
2) Title
It seems to fit well the topic at hand, and is fairly well worded, if a bit of a mouthful. I have no ideas for changing it. "Risking the Election" has less syllables, but it may not fit the story.
3) Summary
- The first thing I noticed was that it was a big block of text, which was sort of an immediate turn-off. I'd suggest separating those out a little to help the readers a bit on the eyes.
- "...the first year with a power of two since 1024" - This part seems a bit awkwardly worded and I'm not actually sure what you are trying to say here. It took me a long time to even wonder this, but I wonder if you mean 2024, and when you say "power of two", if you mean that a Constitutional amendment was made to have there be two executive heads (presidents), one from each party. That would make sense, but it's not well-conveyed by the wording and the typo.
- "Taylor Fields, the 17 year old son of Len Fields the top Republican candidate for the election, can't WAIT for the elections to be over so that all the stress can go away, he can FINALLY enjoy his senior year, and his currently tenuous relationship with his long-time girlfriend can go back to normal, the way it was before the election." - This is a textbook case of a run-on sentence. I'd suggest breaking it up by doing something like this: "17-year-old Taylor Fields, the son of the top Republican candidate, can't wait for the rush of post-election stress relief. He desperately wants to enjoy what's left of his senior year, as well as patch up his currently tenuous relationship with his long-time girlfriend. He just wants things to go back to normal."
- "The last thing he wants is Wren Sanchez, 17 year old son of Carlos Sanchez the Democratic candidate for the elections, and an openly gay "bad boy", coming to his high school after the high school he was attending broke down. It wouldn't even be that hard to stop "fraternizing with the enemy" even if they did go to the same school EXCEPT for the fact that Wren seems to not only take a liking to him but also start to openly pursue him." - A few missing commas here, but also could be a little better worded. Just a little: "The last thing he wants is Wren Sanchez, the son of the top Democratic candidate and an openly gay "bad boy", transferring to his highschool. "Fraternizing with the enemy" shouldn't even be an issue, but it becomes one when Wren seems to not only take a liking to Taylor, but also begins to openly pursue him."
- "What could possibly go wrong?" is a pretty good way to end the summary with a dash of sarcasm but also mystery. I'd leave that as it is. *thumbs up*
- For a point of drama, I'm wondering if implying right before the last line something about Taylor liking the pursuit might amplify the last line even more. Just a thought.
