Genre: Science Fiction
Chapters: 1-2
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CHAPTER 1
First of all, I absolutely ADORE the title and subtitle. It's just perfect, I love taking those phrases and twisting them into titles it's just... Yes.
Now for the story.
Thoughts as I read:
~ ehhh. Another "waking up in to the morning routine" opener. At least the descriptions are really good.
~ the way her going missing is mentioned in the narrative is great! A perfect blend of nonchalance as a result of already knowing the situation and sincerity because of the gravity of it.
~ Agghh I forgot to write anything else because after that I got sucked in and was reading not critiquing. XD
Yep! You sucked me right in! In genuinely curious, which is super rare on here, so brownie points to ya. Your grammar is good, though could use a bit of polishing to break up some run ons and fix some typos. Your style is for the most part very beneficial to the flow, with an amount of dry humor I greatly appreciate. Your metaphors are awesome, in your descriptions, although you couldn't suffer from a little more on the imagery angle. Overall, a very entertaining read that could be phenomenal with a little polishing. :)
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CHAPTER 2
Thoughts as I read:
~ You sold me on Emmet with his second sentence. That was pure perfection. XD
~ Theo is my favorite narrator ever.
~ HUNGER GAMES REFERENCE HELLO MY DEAREST FRIEND
~ You have officially woken the fangirl in me. She only comes out on rare occasion and for the bestest of Wattpad books. Congrats.
The only real suggestion I can come up with would be more visuals for the setting in the first half of the chapter (this is me really nitpicking). Outside of the car and the people, I had some trouble envisioning anything else about where they were or what it looked like.
But stupid nitpickiness aside, another amazing and entertaining and edge-of-your-seat chapter. Great job!
