A House Is Not A Home

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The stack my father compiled was small. We looked through it, each of us pointing out what we wanted and what we didn’t. My father wanted hardwood floors. I wanted carpet, at least in my room. My father wanted multiple floors. I said it was ok if it was just one floor. We both agreed on a big yard with lots of open space and an equal amount tree cover.

So far only my father’s old house fit the bill.

“We can go look at it tomorrow after you get out of school.”

“And before Peter’s game and after you take me to the DMV?”

My father frowned. “I forgot about the DMV. Damn…ok. Let me think…”

“We can always put off going to the DMV till next week.”

My father made a tick noise. “I have to go back to the City on Sunday night. I won’t be back for a week and a half.”

Wow. That was a bomb shell if I ever heard one. I stood up straight and stared down at the printout image of the house.

How were we supposed to be a family if he was leaving me alone for long periods of time?

“This is pointless,” I muttered.

“You’ll like it, Cass,” Peter said like he didn’t hear my comment. “I always did. There’s this two story garage out back. I think it used to be a barn, anyways, your dad used to have this workshop on the bottom floor. He used the loft as a separate sitting room.”

“You have a good memory, Peter.”

He shrugged. “I just always liked how it was set up. I tried to convince Dad to built one.”

My father chuckled. “I remember that. Carter even asked for the blue prints.”

They laughed and started talking about the other various projects Peter and his dad had almost done or completed. I closed my eyes and rubbed my neck. All this talk about houses and two story barns was just…grating on my nerves. I felt my magic rumble deep inside, responding to my uneven emotions.

I didn’t know if it was my father yelling at Peter when we first got here, the talk with Steven, or just Peter’s mom but…I was upset and it all felt overwhelming.

“Well, if Cass would like, she can set up the loft for her own private get-a-way.”

They both turned slightly and looked at me. I opened my eyes and looked back down at the printout. 

“Yeah,” I said, my voice uneasy. “It would give me a chance to use Mom’s old furniture.”

“Her old apothecary table would look good up there. As would the old couch.”

I got a flash of the night my mother died and an unwanted tear slipped down my face.

“Honey,” my father frowned at me, “are you ok?”

I hastily wiped it away and folded my arms over my chest. “Yeah. I thought that stayed in Ireland.”

“It did but I could have it shipped over if you want.”

I gripped my neck with one hand. “No, no, that’s ok.” I looked over at the clock. “You know what, it’s getting late. I think I should get going.” Quick escape. That was the easiest way to deal with this, to calm down.

“Cass, it’s only like…eight o’clock.”

“We haven’t even decided about tomorrow…” He tapped his fingers against the wood. “You know what. If we plan it right, I think we can fit everything in.”

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