Pregnant With The Nerds Baby

39

It's been 6 months, 6 months since I gave birth to Ayden, 6 months since Zack and Dylan got into that accident, 6 months since I've heard Zack's voice.

These past 6 months have been the best and worst moments of my life.

It's been amazing being a mom and seeing Ayden grow every single day. He now sits up on his own and rolls over. He wears size 9 month clothes because how big he's gotten. He's starting to eat baby food, He's changing everyday and it's something I'll remember forever.

At the same time this is one of the hardest things I've ever gone through. Zack is still in a coma and has no sign of waking up. The doctor says he's strong and he's doing good, but he still might not wake up.

I've trying to stay strong for the sake of Ayden and my family, but this is horrible. Zack means so much to me and it's killing me to not be able to hear his voice or feel his touch.

Me and Ayden go visit him every Tuesday, I always sit Ayden on his bed so Ayden will know who he is.

Today's Tuesday which means it's visiting day for me and Ayden. It's to much to go visit him everyday, I tried to at first but as time went on I started getting busier with the baby.

I put Ayden into his car seat and buckle him up. Then I get into the car and start on my drive to the hospital. This has become a routine for me, I'm so used to it.

He's on the 5th floor, room number 17. Every week it's the same thing. He always looks the same, just paler.

The doctor always says the same thing, that he's strong, He's a fighter.

"Hi Zack" I say, that's all I really say anymore. I've lost hope that he can hear me.

I grab Ayden and sit him on the bed next to Zack. Ayden always get excited when he sees his dad, It's like he knows who he is. He always smiles and claps his little chubby hands together, It makes me happy to see him happy. It might sound crazy but I think Ayden and Zack already have a strong bond.

I look around the empty room. It's always the same, old balloons in the corner, dead flowers in the window.

Nothing changes, the room doesn't change Zack doesn't change. I'm sick of nothing changing. I just want him back, I need him back.

"Please come back" I say just above a whisper "I need you Zack. I can't raise Ayden without you"

I walk into the house and go straight to the kitchen to get Ayden a fresh bottle.

A lot has changed in the past 6 months, My dad and Miranda decided to adopt a child. There just starting to fill out the paper work. A teenage girl picked them to raise her baby. I wonder what her story is and why she's giving her baby up.

She's 7 months along, so soon we'll have another baby around here.

My mom moved away and took Anna with her. She didn't even ask me to come with them, I really thought she was going to change. She's still mad about me having a kid so young, but I thought she would be proud since I've stepped up and became a mom so young, Of course she's not though.

Dylan and Maria are still together, they seem to be getting pretty serious. He kind of took my best friend away from me. She never really makes time for me anymore, but I'm happy that she's happy.

I just need to be happy now, It's My turn to be happy.

My dad walks into the kitchen as I'm making a bottle.

"Hey Honey."

"Hi"

"Did you visit Zack today?" He asks

"Like always" I say and sigh

"He's going to come out of this Ashley. Just stay positive."

"I'm really trying, dad. But do you honestly think he's going to. It's been 6 months."

"I truthfully don't know. I'm really hoping he does. Zacks a good kid, and he would've made an amazing father." My dad says and sits down at the counter

"Dad I can't do this anymore." I say and start to cry.

I've been on my own for 6 months and it's killing me, Being a single mom is hard. I don't have much help for anyone else, it's been all me. Plus with the stress of not knowing if he's going to wake up or not is killing me. I'm at my breaking point.

"No Ashley don't cry. Stay strong for Ayden, for Zack" my dad says and wraps his arms around me

"That's what I've been doing this whole time."

"Just a little while longer and he'll wake up"

How can he be so confident about it?

I don't think he's going to ever wake up. I lost hope after the first 2 months.