Noiz's POV
"Haah....." I sighed.
"What am I doing? This isn't helping..." I frown, rubbing my eyes.
"Noiz. You haven't even said anything. Come on." Ren replied. Ren was seated across the table from me with a audio recorder sitting beside two glasses of water in front of us.
"Fine. What happened? Let's start with how Clear is gone now and I can't do shit to help him." I snap, standing up.
"Noiz. Calm down, take it slow. Start from the beginning." Ren sighed.
"Fine. At one point, I had no feeling. No emotion, Jack shit. My past was filled with lots of blood and fighting. I met this bastard called Aoba. Some shit went down and I ended up helping him save a bunch of people. He introduced me to a few people. Clear, a loyal robot who followed him around like a puppy, Ren, his all-mate, Koujaku, a damn shitty hairdresser, Tae-san, his grandmother, and a few more I can't remember and don't give a shit about.
We were all close back then for a long while - aside from me and Cowjackoff - before the night Clear was going to propose to Aoba since they had been dating since a little while after they first met. Clear went over with the ring, flowers and a happy future planned with Aoba. He walked in on the damn hairdresser sticking his old man staff up Aoba's ass. Clear was heartbroken.
He ran into me when he ran off. It kinda started there. For the first time in my whole life, I felt the warmth of another person in a hug. I took him back to my place that night. He told me what happened and I comforted him. Once he was asleep, I took matters into my own hands and beat up the slut and his shitty bodyguard. I confessed my love to Clear when he found me. We made love that night. I loved every second of it. I felt it all.
We spent some time together before going to his grandfather's house. The morning after Aoba confronted me about how Clear needed him and how I didn't deserve him. He told me I was a monster. He said the only reason Clear was with me was at first out of pity before fear wouldn't let him leave. Clear came out and told Aoba how wrong he was. I wasn't a monster. I deserved to be loved and I deserved Clear. He showed him how worthy I was..." a tear slid down my face.
"Deep breaths. You can do this." Ren encouraged.
I closed my eyes and Clear's face appeared in my mind. Tears poured down my face like a waterfall. I can't live without him... I miss him so much...
"I-I loved him..." my voiced cracked as I spoke.
"Calm down. If it's too much, we can stop here. Same time next week?" Ren comforted.
"O-okay..." I agreed to our weekly counselling session.
I stood up and headed for the door, wiping my face with my black hoodie sleeve.
