Narcissism

Chapter 7 - Me, Myself, & I

Sans and Swap were cuddling and stealing small kisses from one another when Red suddenly teleported back into the room. Swap squealed and literally lept over the back of the couch. "Ta-da!!" He presented himself.

Sans was speechless, he could only look at Red with a brow bone raised and an awkward smile. Swap stared at Red just over the top of the couch, annoyance and anger in his star eyes. "What the heck is that?"

Red was wearing a set of Sans' clothes, arms raised to better show it off. He was a dead ringer for the original, save for the pupils and sharp teeth. "I've got this plan, you see," Red said excitedly. "We three are gonna go to Undertale, dressed like Blue. Then we're gonna find the human and drive them nuts."

By now, Swap was draped over the back of the couch, looking down right bored, "And what exactly is that gonna accomplish? Making them mad?" Swap mocked.

Unusually enthusiastic, Red explained, "Yes, exactly. We go and make them chase us, see the three of us at once, make that stalker go insane with their need to kill Sans." Red suddenly jolted forward and grabbed Swap by the arm bones and lugged him over the couch. He held the startled Swap close to his face, "They won't be able to resist! They'll stupidly follow us back here."

"Eww, get off me," Swap pushed Red, who hadn't realized he actually had Swap off the floor. Swap, however, couldn't escape Red's grasp. In Swap's attempt, Red could see the love mark under his baby blue scarf. "Let go," Swap retorted.

Red simply opened his fists and dropped him to the floor. "As you wish, Pretty Boy," He pretended he hadn't noticed.

"So what?" Swap snapped, picking himself up. "We're gonna have that scary Pappy just wait outside the door with his fancy gun thing... to get a human who might not come? Yeah, that's gonna go over well." Swap laughed sourly.

"I know how to use the extractor. I've got one here," He walked over to a closet, digging a leather and wooden case from under a pile of dirty socks. He presented them with the machine, brand new. "Alphys taught me how to use it... I was just too lazy to actually do it."

"This isn't gonna work," Swap crossed his arms, tamping his boot. "One of us is just gonna end up dusted. We all has only one hp!"

"No..." Sans replied calmly. He walked up to Red and took the extractor. Looking it over, "We can teleport... if they get to close," He gave a small smile. "Let's try... let's show Papyrus our worth."

"Yeah!" Red shouted and swung his arm over Sans' shoulders. He clanked his teeth on Sans' cheek bone. Swap blushed sharply and looked away with a jealous pout. "What do you say, Blueberry, you in?"

"This is insanity, the human will kill us. They killed an entire AU. We can't do this alone..."

"Please, Swap. We need your help," Sans smiled sweetly at him. "I need your help."

Swap sighed. "I'll do it... but only because Sans asked me too."

Red whistled loudly and snatched Swap around the neck. "let's go get us a human!!"

● ● ● ●

An abandoned building served as their cover. It took them nearly two hour of searching Undertale to locate the human. When the Sanses found them, the blood stained human only stood eerily still in the middle of Snowdin. Snow soaking into their green and cream sweater. "What are they doing? Their just stand there, not doing anything," Swap replied, pulling at the baggy goodie he was wearing.

"I don't know. They did that all the time... like their paused or something," Sans whispered.

"It doesn't matter. Just remember the plan. Blue and I are gonna go closer to the portal and Swap, you stay here and get that human to follow you to us." Red snorted.