Memento Mori (MikaYuu)

«11»

A fact growing of truth:

If Yuu cries, Mika murders.

Or at least, he wants to.

Nothing hurt more than the sound of those godforsaken pained, helpless, innocent sobs.

A cough escaped Yuu's chest, a heavy sniff following afterward. "I'm fine," he announced feebly through the scarce breath he had, clutching tightly to the male's shirt as he regained his footing.

Beaten and suffocated, yet his first words out were "I'm fine". What a man in the making.

But still in his shock, Mika forced himself to simmer his frustration to the lowest point possible so he wouldn't hurt Yuu. But nothing could repel the image replaying in his head over and over; being mercilessly dragged out of the closet like a puppet, like a dead body - a corpse, like he didn't even matter.
He gently touched Yuu's face as he looked down at him, his bloodied cheek and bruised brow bone glinting in the autumn sunlight. His eyes never looked so vulnerable... His lip was busted.

You're still here... You're still breathing, at least...

He kept Yuu defensively close to him in his arms, resting his chin on his soft head of black, matted hair as he took a deep breath.

The blond felt nothing but memories. No affection, no pity. Just memories that revived his own. Yuu reflected his worst memories. Yuu was his memories. It was a curse.

He'd been beaten like that before. He'd been kicked out the house, whipped, choked, burned - everything... Empathy was only of the beginning of what he was going to feel.

Yuu shook terribly, but he hugged him back. His blood and tears stained the shirt as a reminder of what life was like for the fifteen-year-old. He wasn't on his last straw, no. But another one was pulled that day - another one bringing him to the urge of wanting to at long last drown in death instead of struggle to swim in aliveness.

I can't take it anymore, but I will because I must.

And, to his blessing, he at least felt mighty safe in Mika's arms in that moment.

He took a breather, right in that rich cologne.

He practically dismissed the thought about the night he was nearly killed by the same male in those same arms.

Holding him, Mika heard the sounds of his own pain. Every crack of his voice like the crack of a weapon on his body - God, did it hurt. Nobody deserved to get beaten like that. He looked up to the sky, tears welling in his eyes.

Mika couldn't even speak. In fact, he didn't even try. He didn't want to wind up shouting. He just carefully took Yuu by his trembling arm and led him to the passenger's seat with all of the patience in the world for the frightened child. He waited until the boy climbed in, but was unable to sit still alone as Mika had shut the door and took a crucial moment outside of the car.

The moment consisted of: 'I swear on the Lord himself I'm either gonna kill somebody or myself but I know that I shouldn't and I won't because I have to be a better person'.

Lots of pacing, heaving, wavering self-control.

Yuu watched him, crying softly as the blond seemed completely at a breaking point. He felt awful Mika had to see him like this at all, all bruised and bloodied and so dependent on someone.