Part 5

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Mark slept spooning against Sean as dawn broke through the closed curtains of the bedroom.  His arm tightly wrapped around Sean's waist and his cheek resting on Sean's cool shoulder.  A soft vibrating noise started to buzz from somewhere on Sean's side, and Sean began to stir.  Mark sleepily opened one eye to peek at the clock on the wall.  They still had two hours before the panel.  Sean sleepily shifted off the edge of the bed, searching the floor for something.  When he found it, he raised his phone to his sleepily eye level.  Mark snuggled closer against him, about to tell him to put it on mute, when Sean stiffened beneath him.  Sean quickly answered the phone, asking softly.  "Signe"?  Mark felt his heart drop like a leaded weight, but he didn't let on that he was awake or listening.  Sean's voice sounded relieved and upbeat as he softly spoke into the phone.  "Ya, sure. I would love to. I can be there shortly. No... I'm not at the hotel. I stayed the night at Mark's". 

Sean slowly slid out from under Mark trying not to wake him, as he crept from the room speaking into the phone.  "You don't have to apologize. I know why you said it. I love you too. See you soon".  Mark waited for the bedroom door to close, before he sat up.  He wanted to hate Signe... but he couldn't.  How could he hate someone who loved Sean just as much as himself?  Who made Sean happy.  What had he expected?  That after just one night together that Sean would leave Signe for him?  That wasn't fair to Sean or Signe.  Slowly climbing out of bed, Mark pulled on his robe and quietly slipped out of the room.  Sean was pulling on his shoes on the couch, when Mark asked him as casually as he could without sounding cold.  "Your leaving"?  Sean jumped in surprise, answering happily.  "Ya, Signe just got off the plane.  She wants to have breakfast with me".  Mark could only nod because his throat was constricting.  The air was becoming thick and awkward between them. 

However, Sean cleared his throat, nervously adding.  "I was going to leave a note for you. I just didn't want to wake you".  Mark turned away, heading for the kitchen.  He felt like his heart was breaking all over again.  He felt like a cheap one night stand... only he had brought it upon himself.  Sean hesitantly followed, saying hopefully.  "Why don't you come with us? I'm sure Signe wouldn't mind".  Mark leaned his hips back against the counter, gripping the edge of sink with his hands.  Keeping his voice low to hide his pain, he forced himself to look Sean in the eyes, answering.  "No, it's alright. You go. You need time alone with her and I have to take care of Chica".  Sean rubbed the side of his neck, nervously asking.  "Are you sure? Cause I wouldn't mind you coming along"?  Mark forced himself to smirk, hoping it would reassure Sean, as he told him with strained cheer.  "Go on, Sean. I'll see you at the panel. Maybe if things go well between the two of you; We'll do dinner"?  Sean smiled back, replying much more confident now.  "Ya, That sounds like a plan".  Mark turned his gaze to the tile floor as Sean passed by, heading for the door. 

Sean reached for the door handle, only to turn back around to say uneasily.  "Mark, about last night....".  Mark slowly rocked against the counter, saying calmly.  "Don't worry, Sean. I won't tell her".  Sean swallowed, biting his thumb tip nervously, before he gathered the courage to say.  "I know... I just... I don't know what to say. I'm not ashamed that it happened... but I don't know if it will ever happen again. I just want to be honest with you".  Mark swallowed the hard thump in his throat, to answer shakily.  "It's what I like about you, Sean. Don't worry, things between us won't get weird".  Sean gave Mark one last smile, before slipping out the door... and Mark waited a second or two before sliding down the counter to the floor.  Wrapping his arms around his knees, he bowed his head and felt the warm salty tears run down his cheeks.  Why couldn't he just be happy for Sean?  How could his heart have enough left to keep breaking?  There were millions of women that would love to be with him... and all he could do was think of Sean. 

Why was it always the tragic and forbidden loves that you desire the most?  The ones that haunt you and claw at your heart like an aggressive wild animal!  You feel the blinding pain, but you endure it.  You see the fatal bloody wound, but you turn your eyes away.  What kind of love would force you to feel so completely tormented?  If his love for Sean was so wrong... why did it make him happy?  Mark forced himself to his feet, heading for the bathroom.  Stripping off his robe, Mark climbed into the shower and switched on the water.  Bracing his hands against the cold tile, he let the water run over his head and shoulders.  He couldn't close his eyes without seeing last night play over again.  Sean's soft warm lips against his.  Sean's stunning lust glazed ocean blue eyes staring up at him.  Hearing Sean's soft Irish accent.  Feeling his slender smooth skin against his.  Even Sean's scent lingered on his skin.  There was so escape from him.  Sean had got under his skin and whatever he had done to Mark's heart was permanent.  

He was in love with Sean.  Why else would he keep trying to move on, only to end up right back where he started?  Was there anyway he could share Sean with Signe?  He felt terrible for even thinking it... but a part of him would rather share him than not have him at all.  He would let Signe have Sean... if he could have Jack.  Sinking to the shower floor, he banged his fists against the tile wall.  He was turning into a home-wreaker... and worst of all... he was not only risking his friendship with Sean over his feelings... but Sean's happiness with Signe too.  He was walking a line that would either break under the weight, or he'd have to pick a side to stand on.   To Be Continued...                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

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