I should tell you

Chapter 14

Chapter 14 -

According to the calendar, today was supposed to be "Anything Can Happen Thursday".

Or was it? Was there still such thing?

Sheldon couldn't quite focus on the task at hand, which was an online RPG game. Howard ogled at Becky and she, enthusiastically, shouted and sometimes, cursed at the screen.

Two weeks ago, he had proposed and hadn't told even Leonard about it yet. He had been indulging 'silly thoughts' (according to himself), such as, "What kind of boyfriend I am?" or "Why doesn't she even seem to care? Did she forget?" As to which, the answer remained unknown, since neither of them ever approached the subject.

But tonight, oh, it was especially hot...

"She looked especially hot."

Now, where did that come from?

He could hear his mother's disapproving 'tut'. And now he was more than aware that something was... "off".

And it was... Becky. It had to do with her.

It had to do with her silky red hair, always stubbornly tied in a bun, especially after showering...

It had to do with her soft pouting lips, her hazel, amber, greenish eyes...

"It had to do with that white shirt that was unbuttoning in the middle and it was quite possible to take a peek at her lingerie..."

OK, that was enough.

Sheldon grunted, got up to leave the game and the room (also before he could kick Howard's ass) and shut the door to his own room. He had already lost too many items, anyway, and the track of the whole game.

"What the hell?" asked Becky, puzzled, to no one in particular.

"Sweetie..." started Penny, "Have you done... anything you can't remember?"

"I... um..." Becky replied, recalled the best she could and, "Well, no... Not that I'm aware of!"

"Yep!" said Howard, sighing at the same time. "Well now, maybe he's finally lost it!"

"'Lost' what?" said Becky, annoyed. "Great help, all of you. Some friend you are, eh, Wolowitz! He may be in trouble, or something!"

"Thing is, Becky... If you don't know, how can we know?!" inquired Leonard.

"Why, I thought that was supposed to be the best friend's duty."

"I-What!" Leonard felt the reply was a personal attack. "There's no such thing as a 'duty', Ms. Carlson!"

"Why, Leonard, haven't you read the fine print?" asked Howard, to what everyone laughed.

"Assholes.", muttered Becky, loud enough for them to hear. "I'll see what the heck this is about."

"Yeah, you do that. Be the 'Devil's Advocate'. Biatch." said Howard.

She threw him a fulminating glance before knocking on Sheldon's door three times and getting into his room.

Sheldon was there, curled up into a ball in his bed. So helpless, so defenseless...

Becky approached and sat by his side, touching his dark hair ever so gently.

By God he felt he could burst into flames just by such a simple act...

"Now, Shel, you must tell me... What have I done? Or... What have they done? Or was it you?"

He sat on the bed, finally facing her and trying to avoid her... a little. Avoid that... touch.

He was not being rational. Logical.

He had already been touched by her many times, so many times! Why was he behaving like an idiot now?

"Shel, if you don't talk to me, I can't help you. You seem so... agitated. Is it... the engagement? Oh, it's that! I knew it! You're having second thoughts! You changed your mind!"

Becky sounded so hurt she was about to cry and he was just there, staring at her, stupidly. Had he actually changed his mind?

"It's... I have not changed my mind, Becky." he finally spoke. "I'm just... I finally have so much to say and I just don't know how and what."

She could understand him, but now she didn't have an answer or a solution to that. By the way, did that mean they were still engaged?

"It looks like I'm making you uncomfortable." confessed Becky. "I could never voice that, but I finally realize I am nuisance. Is that it? Please, Shel. I hate half-truths, euphemisms and sadism. I grew up amidst all of that. I just... can't take it anymore. If there is any purpose in this Life whatsoever, please, do let me know right now or let me go and find it out myself. Please."

"Becky..." Sheldon took a deep breath before answering, carefully. "You ask too much of me. Too much. You have received too little and that is way too easy to give, so it's no wonder you are so eager. I cannot make any promises. I won't even ask you to trust me. I am what I am. I can only accept whatever you have to offer."

It must have been enough, for Sheldon had barely finished his inspirational speech and Becky covered his lips with hers.

He was afraid of all that... intensity. It couldn't be possible. It couldn't be... Safe.

But it was at least real. As real as the sparks he could feel flowing through him whenever she brought him to such an extent of ecstasy.

Sheldon and Becky were so distracted in their own private world that they could only hope their friends in the living room were as distracted as them...