My Monster Mate

Chapter 25

"Xander," I whisper, my voice shaking.

In response to my calling of his name, a growl ripples  in his throat. His wolf form is crouched to the ground and his mouth is pulled back in a snarl. I know, I just know he is ready to pounce. Thoughts skip through my head on how to get out of the situation I am in, but I quickly turn the thoughts down. Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. That is what I am. How could I have gotten myself in this situation.

I begin to wonder that if he kills me, who would miss me. I mean, back at my old pack no one really knew who I was. Only my "parents" and my one friend Lily really knew me. I miss my pack, but the real question is would they have missed me if they were still alive? I don't know who is alive, my pack connection was broken a while ago, as soon as I crossed pack lines.

Tears keep streaming down my face. Self hatred begins to run through my veins. I hate myself, I hate myself for being so weak. I hate that I cannot do anything without messing something up. Life is funny that way I guess, no one can hate you more than you can hate yourself. We are our own worse enemies.

My nails begin to cut into my flesh on my palm because my fists are clenched to the maximum. And I finally know what to do. 

I slowly lower myself gently on the ground and show him my stomach. I squeeze my eyes shut and wait for him to finish me off. I am not a survivor, I thought I could be. I only had six days left.

Hot, heavy breathing came from above me, shooting into my face. 

I awaited my death, but nothing came. I opened my eyes and a giant grey wolf stood above me, mouth pulled in a snarl, and snout in my face.

Then I did the most unexpected thing, I ran my fingers through his fur. HIs growling admittedly halted and his glare softened for a short second. But just as soon as that happened, another glare replaced his eyes. He then turned back into human form, his toned arms holding his naked body off of me.

Xander then pushed himself off and stood with his back facing me.

"Dinner is over," He stated in monotone. Xander stood with his arms crossed facing the door. His muscular back glistened with sweat. "Go."

I quickly peeled myself off the floor, excited to get out of there. The stench reeked, but that was the least of my worries. I hurriedly walked to the door, and went to walk through it but Xander grabbed my bicep.

My head spins to him with fear on my face. What if he is changed his mind and is going to kill me, what if- my thoughts are cut off by the sound of his voice.

"Thank you," he whispers to me, his green eyes piercing into mine.  I stare at him confused. He then elaborates, "For helping me see reality."

By the tone of his voice I know he meant it in more than one way, which confused me even further. His grip on me loosend, so I took this as my cue to leave.

I scramble out the door and I find myself bumping into someone. I look up only to find the beta of the pack. He looks at me with his harsh eyes.

"Do you know where Xander is mutt?" He says with authority laced in every word.

I look down at my feet and point to the dining room. He then pushes past me, his shoulder knocking me into the wall, almost making the flowers fall down.  I guess he had to deliver something urgent?

I continue my journey back to my room, well knowing the consiquences of me not being there. The only thing I can think of is six more days of this and this mysterious person is coming to my rescue. Six more days.

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VOTE & COMMENT

Hey everyone! I know you are all really angry with me for making you readers wait a long time for an update. My update did not go as planned. In my last message on my message board I said how it was because I had writers block, and it was. But that is only the partial reason. During the time that I had promised to update, something had happened. I do not tell many people this because I do not want anyone thinking different of me. I am usually a happy, bubbly person. I had a lot of family issues, I was fighting with my parents a lot and many words were exchanged. I had fallen into a pit of sadness and for some reason I couldn't pull myself out of. I would think I was worthless and that no one liked me. This had gave me bad anxiety. I would be happy infront of other people, yes, but on the inside I had loathed myself. I thought of myself as stupid, useless and not worthy of being loved. This really took a toll on me and I had no desire to do anything anymore. I would just go through the motions of my life. I would cry myself to sleep multiple of nights, I would be thinking awful thoughts. I know this is no excuse for not updating, but please understand. I am not asking for anyone to pitty me, I am just pleading for you readers to hear me out. Some of you may say this is fake, and I wish it was. This is not something I share with many people. And I just want to let all of you know, you are all amazing people and someone out there loves you and you are never alone. Love yourself.

I am not promising an update because I do not wish to disappoint, but I will hopefully update soon.

Thank you,

Amanda