My Monster Mate

Chapter Thirty Three

Those words left a deadly silence hanging thick in the air. The squawking birds have silenced, the breeze has been silenced, and Xander has been silenced. The only thing that has sliced through his skin today was my words. Those three words that whisper in ear to, those words will never be silenced. Not even the Moon Goddess herself can silence them, I have embedded them in his brain, inflicting more pain than the whip ever could.

Xander's eyes hold pain, years of pain that I have made surface. I have uncovered what he has tried so hard to bury. Tears brim his green eyes. I have never seen this man so weak. He is still on his knees, his head casted down, trying to bottle up his pain.

I quickly turn my back to Xander before I could find myself feeling bad. He is my abuser, my capture, my mate. I frown at the last word, he is anything but my mate. I mentally curse the mate bond for making me so weak. I wipe the emotions off my face, now is the time to be strong.

"Goodbye Xander," I say strongly, not sparing him a glance. My eyes lay on the forest beckoning me. I take my first step towards the woods at the end of the clearing. I do not know where I will go, but I do know anywhere is better than here.

"You think I want to be this way?" Xander whispers harshly, his voice halting my movement.

My shoulder blades tense and my face scrunches up in disgust. My back still faces him, he does not deserve to look at me. He sickens me to the very core. My hair blows back because of the wind picking up once again. I stand there wanting to say a million things to him at this moment, but instead I say one word.

"Choices."

I begin to walk again, taking in the crisp morning air, just enjoyed the feel for nature. The pureness of it brings me somewhere else, brings me to somewhere Xander is not, stops the never ending nightmare that I live in. The long grass brushes my legs up to my knees as I walk. The serenity I felt in this moment was short lasting as a hand brushes my bicep, leaving sparks in it's trail.

It is as if he is reaching for something he cannot get, something so fragile that he does not want to break it- well too late.

I do not turn around, but rather pull my arms in front of me, outside of his desperate reach. My eyes remain on the trees at the end of the clearing.

"Arabella," He says softly, "What can I do to fix this?"

His voice sounds defeated. This man, standing behind me, has lost everything. The only thing he had left to lose was me and he lost it, I am gone.

I respond to his previous question with a hard voice, a voice that shows no weakness.

"The damage is done."

I never would have expected the girl I have become, I am unsure whether to be proud or to be scared. My oblivion to the world is demolished.

"Fine, go." I could almost swear I hard him whisper to himself, 'just like everybody else'.

This time I do turn around to face him, his cold voice sending chills down my spine. I look at him in bewilderment and suspicion, he is letting me go? My time in being here has let me know that this man does not let anybody go, especially not me.

He looks at me hard, his face void of any emotion. I stand there in shock, not being able to move a muscle. His body is in turmoil as both sides fight for control.

His eyes slightly darken and he growls at me ferociously, the inner monster making an appearance. Xander's face contorts painfully as he is fighting for control over his wolf, his wolf knowing I want to leave them. He grits out through his teeth,"I won't stop you, I can tell you that. But what I can't tell you is how far you will be before I get you, or how long your freedom will last. There is no taming this beast inside of me, it gets what it wants, and it wants you."