INTOXICATING LOVE #gone Haywire

CHAPTER 1.

"How unfair, it's our luck .I found something real that's out of touch . But if you touch the whole wide world would you give it up. Dont give it up. How unfair its just our love? Well if your heart was full of love, would you dear to let it go.
...............Birdy "not about angels"

Shardonae's Pov:

My name is Shardonae Everyone calls me Shazz .I don't believe in love. Simple. I hate love. I don't get why people always believe in it. I mean I know that people will say anything just to give themselves hope and something to live for. Oh Hell no that's just not me!

I never get attached to anybody in this world, not even my parents. They said that my mom died, but I didn't believe tha' cause she was known by many for being famous for hiding. That's all she was ever good at, as far as my sister and I were concerned. There's something though, whenever she was around she'd just me us feel wanted, as if we were special, as if we meant the world to her, she made us feel like a family.
Then one day. She disappears,2 days before my 10th birthday. No one knew where she was. She was missing for weeks, then it became months,
And now it has been 11 years since she's been missing. My sister claimed to have seen her a couple times. I've gotten phone numbers that belonged to her. I've tried calling but the results were always the same. "Wrong number" or " why don't you stop calling me?" Followed by a trailer load of explicit languages. Sometimes I know that it's her voice but I ignore it. All I needed was just a little bit of hope to hold on to. Eventually I just gave up, yeah, that's right. I gave up. I just didn't care anymore. She could go to hell for all l cared.
I remember when I was around 12 years old, my daddy found this beautiful woman. She had long jet Black hair, she was a bit chubby but, I didn't mind at all. Her name was kerry. She gave me hope, she made me feel like the happiest person to ever live on the earth. She made me smile like I've never smiled before. She pampered my sister and I (especially me even though I was older).she helped me to do my homework all the time, she never fogot my birthday, she helped me to understand boys, n' how boys were, she encouraged me not be scared to talk about my feelings, we talked about my crush and 1st boyfriend ,n helped me with my 1st break-up. She loved my daddy unconditionally. I could see it in the way she looked at him. My dad was just 'darn stubborn' and bossy. Yeah may stepmother had her faults but, daddy? Him, I couldn't understand. He just became so arrogant n' aggressive. He just kept being the same jackass he was being until she left. Even after she left, he was the same jackass. Nothing had changed. It was as if he was slowly loosing his shit.
Not paying that any attention,I went on to high school.In the 1st form I was doing great, I mean excellent. I even got a couple awards. In 2nd & 3rd form and I was still on top of my game. Until 4th form. Everything started to go haywire. Everything that I've been holding in slowly started to pour out. I started develop delinquent behaviors. I didn't smoke ,steal or do drugs. I was mentally week. I couldn't relate to anything or anyone. My emotions felt dead. Untill I met jay. He made me feel like I'm the only girl in the world, like I'm the only one that he'll ever love, like I'm the only one who knows his heart. I felt special. His friends always told me that all he wanted was to trick me into having sex with him.
I always blew them off and,or got aggressive. Untill I have proven that, what they were saying was true. He was even tricking other girls too. He 'was' trying to trick me, but he was unsuccessful in doing so, so he left. He left me heartbroken for months. I was so sad. My friends even noticed that I was stressing my self to dust. I had dark circles around my eyes, my eyelids wewe swollen, I lost weight, I couldn't eat, I couldn't focus on anything. I was devastated. I genuinely loved him. All he ever did was wreck me. He just walked out on all of my dreams. I was hurt badly.

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Don't be silent readers let me know what you think.
Shazz's life has a lot of broken pieces. Don't you think?

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This book or any part of this book should not be copied/printed by anyone other than if I give the ok to do so (which I won't) so persons caught in violation will be charged. All rights reserved.
Copyrights act.
About the copyright I'm dead serious about it.
#sweetdreamer33
Thanks for the inspiration