When We're Both Thirty

Yet Another Chapter in Two Parts: Part One

Gerard really should have thought this through more. He should've considered who he was talking to before he agreed to anything. He should have expected this. He should have anticipated some sort of deception, because this did not go at all the way he had expected. Really, it went the way it was all intended to, but Gerard is just really disappointed in how gullible he is.

He really needs an app that reminds him not to believe a single word that comes out of Mikey's mouth. Often he's lying out of his ass and Gerard really should be used to this. It's not new. He can't believe he's still falling for these things. He likes to believe the best in people, and he also likes to think that Mikey doesn't have the tendency to be a compulsive liar when he's trying to get Gerard to do things.

Gerard was expecting food. That's all he wanted. Just some food because he's hungry and he's had a very confusing day, so he just wanted to eat something nice that can't be bought on the clearance rack at a convenience store. Maybe it was his hunger that distracted him from the obvious gaping hole in everything that Mikey had said.

So that's how Gerard ends up standing in the middle of Frank's apartment wishing that the ground would open up and swallow him.

"How is this my life?" Gerard asks the air around him. "How am I even here?"

"Gerard, stop talking to yourself," Mikey calls to him.

"I'm the only one who seems to understand how dumb this situation is though."

"You're free to leave you know," Frank replies, "I'm not stopping you."

"Yeah, but I have no money. Like, I don't have cash for a cab and you're an asshole who just has to live nowhere near a subway stop," Gerard says. "I was planning on Mikey paying for my ride home."

"And I will," Mikey says, "but we're here now, and I need to puppeteer the both of you into admitting you like each other before we leave."

"But we don't like each other," Frank says.

"So you say."

"We don't, Mikey. How many times do I have to tell you that?" Gerard says.

"No number of times will ever convince me," Mikey says, "I know you like each other. I mean, I already knew Frank liked you, but Gerard I can see it in your eyes that you like him too. You're just too cowardly to admit to anyone, including yourself."

"Wait, hold up," Frank says, raising his hands as if he's about to surrender, "I do not recall ever saying that I like Gerard."

"You literally say it every few seconds," Mikey says, "its subtext, but you are like a broken record. You just keep repeating it, and it's annoying me. I'm trying to get you two to admit it to each other so that I don't have to fucking deal with you anymore."

"I resent that."

"You were meant to."

"Asshole," Gerard murmurs.

"You're just now figuring that out?" Mikey says.

"All you Ways are completely insane."

"He's got a point," Mikey nods.

"I have absolutely no blood relation to Mikey. We just found him wandering along the street and took pity," Gerard says.

"You do realize we were friends when he was, like, born, right?" Frank says.

"We were three," Gerard says.

"What a coincidence. That's how many IQ points the two of you have put together," Mikey says. Frank elbows him in the rib which makes Mikey grin back at him like he's proud of himself. Actually, that's probably why.