ROAD TO HEAVEN

CHAPTER NINE

I had a weird dream that night: I was walking with Jewel, holding each other's hand and smiling toward each other's face, we were walking keeping our hands tied and our bodies close, neglecting the looks we saw on people's face to us. We were feeling each other's love towards one another. Then we started mumbling about things I couldn't realize, but it felt as if we were expressing our love, the love that we were exchanging, I felt warmth, passion, compassion and love for the first time in my life. I have never experienced such love given to me, me among 7 billion person on earth, why I was chosen to feel like this, even though it was nothing but just a dream, but it felt so real to me. that amazing warmth and relief called love, even my parents, my flesh and blood didn't give me this kind of feelings all along the long period of 18 years that I spent with them. I loved the way I felt at that very moment, probably due to the fact it was the first time I felt that way. We kept wondering through the marvelous city we were walking in, keeping the distance close and making it closer by each second that passed to oblivion but never forgotten by the both of us. Then, Jewel turned to me and said: "Listen I need to go now, see you later", I wanted to say 'NO' but somehow, and against my own will, I said "okay, love you, see you later". As Jewel started to blend with the crowd and vanish from my sight, I wanted to follow her, tell her not to leave me alone. But, my body was somehow pinned to the ground. My morality, heart, feelings and mind wanted to follow her, and yet, physically I couldn't even move a muscle. When Jewel eventually fainted of my sight, I gain back my ability to move, so I rushed towards the monstrous crowd that swallowed Jewel and took her away from me. As I reached the belly of this monster, I started screaming: "Jewel! Come back! I need you! I need you!" but now answer, even the crowd kept moving, not paying attention to me, I felt like I don't exist, as if I was back in time to that time when I am all alone, with no one by my side. I fell on my knees out of remorse, sadness, pain and ignorance that I felt. then people opened a way through, and stood still, as if they were guiding me to somewhere. From the end of the created road, I could've seen someone, bright and dressed in white. I realized that this angel was actually Jewel. I stood up and rushed towards her, as I arrived, she was too bright that a normal person can't see her beauty, I couldn't see hers because I didn't ever see her, but still it was definitely Jewel to me. I was the only one able to remain looking at her, I could still see her, in her white dress and her angelic brightness as she said: "Nick, I'm all yours"

As I woke up, I made the usual routine I do every single morning: having a shower, brushing my teeth and shaving my face. But the only new thing in there was my inability to forget that dream I had. Is it some sort of a dream? Am I bewitched or obsessed? I tried to forget it, but in vain. I remembered what we agreed about, the scholarship thing. I went to my father, whom I found as usual, in front of the TV, as usual.

"Hey father, I need to tell you something"

"sure" He said it and kept his eyes glued to the TV screen, which made me feel pissed

"well, I found a scholarship, electronic engineering in the Philippines"

"the what?!!"

"The Philippines father"

"well, the answer is HELL NO"

"why?"

"just simple as that, HELL NO"

"But, it's my Goddamn future you're talking about"

"so what boy, what will you do about it"

My eyes turned red, out of rage and I started to feel blood rush everywhere in my body, my lips started to get hard, and my face started to turn red. Then here goes the screaming: "Who the hell are you to control my future, you're not my fucking DAD to tell me what to do, I wasn't even asking for your goddamn permission, I was only telling you what to do, got it?"

His eyes turned red, he stared to bite his lips out of anger, then he took a deep breath and said: "then, I won't give you any financial help, good luck finding a fortune"

I didn't answer, I didn't feel likely too, the only thing I was thinking to say to him was 'you're an asshole' but it'll only get me into more trouble and I'm not looking forward for that kind of things. I went back to my room, holding tears into my eyes, trying not to cry, since my father ruined my opportunity to meet the one I've fallen for. I leaned to my laptop, and started typing to Jewel a message:

"Hey, I can't do it, my father refused, and now my whole damn future is ruined"

"Hey, c'mon don't be such a pessimistic person, I'll figure out something, just give me a month, you'll come, it's your future, and I'll help you, there's no way for you to say no to me' deal?"

and with that message, tears started to flood, out my happiness and sadness, Jewel was treating me in a much better way, more than the way my parents did to me. I had no choice but to say yes to her, I had no option. After all, my future has the highest priority no matter what kind of circumstances that occurs.