Luck [Miniminter]

-13-

  "I think... I'm in love with Daisy." And I said it.  

p.o.v. Simon

Josh looks at me startled. The silence between us is slowly killing me but I'm not sure what I should say right now. I look down at my feet because I can't bear to look at Josh anymore, knowing he is silently judging me. 

"Simon, look at me" Josh finally says breaking the ever lasting silence. I slowly look up and see his eyes are filled with uncertainty and concern. "She's only seventeen." He then adds.

I sigh "I know alright. She's too young for me. But i just can't help it." I knew this would happen, ofcourse he would be weirded out. It is weird, she's five years younger. If it was two or maybe three years it would be different but no I have to fall for a seventeen year old girl.

"How long has this been going on." Josh says after a short silence.

"Ever since we first skyped" 

We had talked for hours and it was already late. I was editing in the mean time so I didn't notice our conversation went silent at first but she had fallen asleep. I looked at her sleeping face and listened to her breathing for a while. The soft, steady breath made me realize something. I wanted her as more than a friend.

"I tried forgetting about it because of our ages and the distance. But I can't." I never thought I would say this like this. In the restroom of nandos with Daisy sitting in the restaurant with the other boys. I feel small tears comming burning in the corners of my eyes but I push them back.

"Oh boy, come here." Josh says, putting his arms around me. I know how we always joke about him being daddy but at some moments, like this one, he really is the parent figure. He is always the one to calm everyone down and he's definatly the one with the most responsibility. In these moments I'm glad I know Josh, he can always calm me down, and he never gets angry with me not even when I do stupid things like this. 

"I just wish I could forget all these feelings. I wished that when we wouldn't skype as much because she had school that I would. But that isn't going to happen now she lives nearby, is it?" Half way through the tears started comming through and the words turned into quiet sobs of misery. Josh said nothing but just holds me firmly letting me sniff untill my eyes are fully dried out.

"I know it's wrong you don't have to tell me. Please just understand where I'm comming from." I say as I let go of josh. I wish I could have stayed there for a bit longer but it would become more and more awkward.

He looks back at me "I won't. I understand. I always thought there was something between you two. You were the first and only one to give her your number. I'm still not sure why you did that though but it worked out she's a great friend to all of us "Josh smiles.

Wait he isn't mad with me? I know I just said he never is but I'm surprised with what he just said. "But what am I going to do now?" 

Josh rubs his head in a thinking manner before saying "I really don't know. The age difference is big but hey, at least it isn't illegal." He laughs slightly at the last part. I give him a small smile. 

"Yeah, but she's also a fangirl. I don't want her caught up on the other side of youtube." I sigh. "Yeah, having a girlfriend while being a youtuber isn't always the best thing. But it can work out, just like me and freya. that worked out great didn't it." Josh says putting his hand on mine, while flashing an encouraging smile. "Don't worry about it. I'm sure you will find a way to work this out. Whether that means telling daisy or trying to forget about her." Josh takes me into a hug for the last time before saying we should head back. 

I throw some more water in my face hoping the others won't be able to tell I cried. Too bad it doesn't work since my eyes are still red and puffy. I decide to let it slide and just follow Josh out of the restroom, they can probably guess what happend. We walk back to the table and I see Daisy talking with Vik and JJ. She laughs about some joke but I can tell it's not honest.

As soon as she sees me her eyes fill with concern. She looks me in the eyes and my heart tells me to just run over ad hug her, to tell her everything I feel. But my head knows that wouldn't be the best idea. So instead I just send her a reasurring smile although she probably notices there is something behind it.

"How rude of us. We didn't even offer you anything to eat." Josh says to Daisy once we sit down. "Oh it's alright, I just ordered while you guys were talking." She says looking from Josh to me and back to Josh. "I guess that's it." She says pointing at a worker coming with her order. 

She takes a bite of the chickend and softly moans. "Oh god, how I have missed nandos" The boys all laugh and I try to laugh along, but the only thing I can think is 'Oh god, how I have missed her presence.' 

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yes a whole chapter form simon's pov. I really liked writing this. Just al the feels and stuff.