A Wolf In a Sheep's Costume Killua x reader

Not a Chapter, but i dont mind if you skip

Hey Guys, its just me Jaaku, i just wanted to let everything out in this, i need to be relived of all this thoughts,i know i cant tell anyone but if i had to choose it would be you guys so here it goes.

So ive been sad, im not depressed but cause i know people over exaggerate that word a lot

so i had a friend at my school she was in 8th grade, shes going to 9th grade now, and near the end on the school year, she said she hated me and said that i did something, at the beginning of the year we did Theater together, and we hung out after school. and i was happy, and i never thought how empty without her, and every time i think of her i makes me cry. now thats off me chest next thing

i hide my feelings, like im kind (sometimes) im sassy and feisty, and funny, when im around people, but at home im a crying mess, ive been nicked the Devils Daughter at school i have no problem with it, its just its not me yes im kind, and sassy, and funny, but i hide feelings, so when i get hurt i show no emotion, someone can punch me and ill shrug it off, or if someone makes fun of me  i dont do anything, and if i do i usually say a funny comment... i feel like ive given up on showing my real self to people because they just move away, the next year, or start to hate me, or die, ive only been able to keep a nice, sweet friend with them knowing the real friend, ONE out of at least a 100, and yes i do have good friends, its just they dont know the real me, i have to drown im sorrows into anime, and Manga and you tube, i dont go outside to much, but me doing someone i love to keep the sadness away, i just get made fun of, for playing video games as a girl, or Read Manga and anime, so ive just gone numb, i dont act but i keep things locked away and hidden, just bad things happen when you know the real me, this beaten up girl who kind hearted and puts others first. I think i got like this is because of my Family Problems, i go to a school with kids, who live in huge houses and have money to spend all the time, or just go on Vaction, so the people who make fun of me dont know the inch of pain i feel a mouth, that the porbarly wont feel in a life time 

My Dad, always says he want to spend time with me, but he ends up going out when im at his house, and when i go home, i have to lie to my mom saying that I   didnt want to do anything and just stay in the house and be one my computer i wanna tell people, but i feel like it will just get to the point where my moms on my case about it , things dear to me just get taken out of hands, like a 4 year old girl, with her stuffed animal or dolls, i realized that, i have a a reason why god wanted my on this earth, just for me to die in the end, to be that happy girl in peoples lives, and to have fun, and rage out video games, and become a great artist. 

Now telling you guys this  I wonder if  this light in side me heart  has been right here along , and ive never noticed it all,  cause every time stumble down or have to take the long way around  it shines  on me forevermore . the singing of the bells if you listen close it tells a lonely story  once more ill push mu fears away and all the i endured today will make me stronger 

the mere repeating of reality alone, the aligns the stars and tall the wishes they take on, at last ive found something to chase with all my might , i cannot fight or go aginst these feelings.

No matter if one day i wake and blink away this world around me and im lost in thoughts of what could be  I know that i will kind my way, cause now i have the light within me, it shines on me forevermore,

every night following that dream , where i threw away that old and silly ribbon,light have adorned the city streets  and ive been without one fret or worry within, i need a sanuary the will keep me safe, as if protected like an angle in heaven , if i cannot have wings id like someone to trust, i know it must be wonderful like magic,

if i could chose id stay like this forever while this world around  me, feels with colors ive never seen, i know i wouldn't hesitate  cause now the colors of each moment,will change and change forevermore

answer we cannot find

no matter if they're not kind 

well find it even blind

that is true in my mind,

im believing till the end that we are similar my friend , one day ill shine like this dream wooooorrrllddd.

if you just take a moment to blink all those tears away from your eyes

and you managed to conceal your cries, you'll never fear again because the future you yearned for in a heartache, will shine on you forevermore without a limit.    

no matter if one day i wake and blink away this world around me, and im lost in thought of what could be, i know that i will find my way, cause now i have this light within me it shines on me forever more,

and shines and shines forevermore

for you and me eternally.

-song ENGLISH Yume Sekai, Sword Art Online (AmaLee) 

Wattpad and my new friends and anime have changed my life

im fine, aside from the not sleeping the jumpyness, crushing fears something horrible will happen, but put that all aside and live for once.... REALLY, live and Im talking to you , no matter what is stopping you form doing  it, and  do the unthinkable, do something great, im talking to all of you, you can do the unbelievable, and be the best, and make a mark on this world, you only have one change, waste it on something good. 

LOVE U GUYS, i dont need support just needed to let it all out. 

SOOOOOO ive been wanting to say this

so cheer the fuck up you beautiful loser,heh

                                                                                        sincerely sighed you  from the future =) =p :3

NOWWW SLEEPPPPYYYY TIIMMEEE IT  4:12 AM GOOD NIGHT