Lizzie's Song

Chapter 13- Carlisle

Lizzie and Mr York settle into the guest rooms in the house of Bartholomew Hayes, jailer. He is a jovial man with the Yorks, but they both know that in the jail he is stern, though usually fair. He reads the confessions and then asks about the temperament of his new prisoner. Mr York describes Thomas as quiet, a studious reader, and a man who thinks often of his own guilt. Thomas has no pretenses about himself, nor does he accept excuses for his actions. Mr Hayes is relieved to know his new ward will be little trouble, so long as he keeps him occupied with books.

Thomas sits alone in the cell and wonders what will come next. It is cold, he is lonely, and he wonders if Lizzie has read his note early out of curiosity. He hopes she has not.

Mr Hayes visits him after he is brought supper. It is nothing like what he had in the village, the meat dry and leathery, the bread stale. He eats it because he knows he must eat something, but he does not want it to replace the memory of his last meal with the Yorks in the countryside.

"Reg tells me you are a quiet prisoner."

"I try to be, sir."

"Oh? You don't want to raise a ruckus, gain yourself some attention?"

"No. I learned that avoiding attention was far safer than asking for it. It was far better to remain unseen. I have never broken the habit."

"Reg told me what you did."

"Ah. Well I suppose everyone will know soon, won't they? Once it is read in the court?"

"I reckon so. Does that bother you?"

"Yes."

"Why? Don't want anyone to know what you've done?"

"No. I have little concern for myself. I will be dead soon, and what harm can their words do me then? But Lizzie will still be living and she will have to pay for my actions time and time again as the judgments of others stab her over and over."

"Lizzie? You mean Reg's daughter?"

"Yes."

"You love her?"

"No. At least not yet- who knows what will happen in the desperation facing the noose? But she is a dear friend and she cares deeply for me. I tried to keep my distance so I would leave no one behind in mourning, but in that I have failed."

"Reg spoke highly of you. Smart young man, good with your hands, built a contraption in your yard to try to mine the clay. He says you could have been an engineer."

"Perhaps."

"Why not?"

"My sister. She was...persuasive. And I could not leave her. So we starved alone."

"Until she married you off."

"Well I can't say I was entirely unwilling. I thought I would finally be able to find companionship and intimacy with a young lady. But that wasn't so."

"She stopped that, too."

"Yes."

"And you never thought to leave?"

"Does the lion not both love and resent his tamer?"

Mr Hayes nods, "I understand, young man. Look, things here aren't going to be like in the village. You'll be on your own most of the time until they want you up in the court. And if they condemn you, you'll get a guarded cell so you don't kill yourself before the Home Office makes its decision. Might get mercy, likely won't. But I've seen men who were monsters step away from this jail and back into the streets. So you can't be sure."