Lizzie's Song

Chapter 27- Missing Pieces

Thomas rides on through the snow as visibility diminishes from an eighth of a mile ahead to just a few yards. He slows, mindful that it is easy to lose the road. He doesn't know how he will recognize what is left of Allerdale Hall when he arrives. Lizzie's deconstruction was, to his knowledge, complete, and he hasn't been back. The only thing that would remain would be the deep pit into the mines. He shudders, thinking of her losing her way and falling into that red clay.

He drives the carriage until he thinks he should be somewhere near the house, somewhere near that huge iron gate, but remembers that it, too, sold. There is little left. He cannot see far in front of him. Out of the snow, he sees what appears to be a path to the left, perhaps even the road up to the house. He cautiously takes it, watching Sampson's steps to make sure he does not falter and that he has not brought them onto treacherous terrain. Ahead, he sees splotches in the snow and knows he has found it. Josie's tracks have brought up the red of the clay. Finally, he has a path to follow. But it soon disappears as the soil heaviest with clay drowns the snow in seeping red.

He parks the carriage under the lonely tree with a stern word to Sampson not to go anywhere. He steps down and feels the ground stick to his shoes as he walks. He stares at where the house should be and sees nothing. Even in the snow, there should at least be some shadow there, but there is not and he is not sure how he feels seeing that it is entirely gone.

"Lizzie? Lizzie? Where are you? Please... I...I need to know you're safe." He walks towards where there should be a house and finds the gaping open clay pit, practically frantic, "Lizzie? Clap for me. Please. Just a noise so I know you're alive." He walks the long distance around the edge, trying to see if she has fallen into the mine. Once he circles back, he wonders if he should find a way to get down into the pit to look for her. It is the only reason he can think that he would not have found her and the thought of her injured or dead in his father's mine horrifies him more than anything else he imagines.

He hears a horse approaching from the path, "Mal? Is that you? I can't find her. I need help. I don't know how to search the pit- did you bring a rope?" No answer. Thomas stares into the hole, desperate and despairing, "If she's hurt in any way, if this house or it's remains have harmed her, consider it my doing. Shoot me out here and leave me to the pit, for it is the justice that is right and quick and true."

The rider dismounts and approaches. He does not turn around, waiting to hear the click of the rifle as it is aimed at his head. Instead he hears the rustle of taffeta. He turns, hoping it is one of the living, not one of the dead.

Lizzie seems to fade into sight as she comes closer through the snow. Thomas' heart leaps and he hurries to her, throwing his arms around her, holding her close as soon as she is in reach. She is cold, her coat forgotten, her dress too thin for the weather, snow sticking to her eyelashes and to the tear streaks on her pink cheeks. He sweeps her up and carries her to the carriage, her horse following them. He settles Lizzie in the seat with the quilt wrapped around her and then goes back to tie Josie's lead to the carriage. Once that is done, he sits beside her and kisses her.

"My god, Lizzie. Why on earth did you come out here? No- don't speak. Wait to tell me until we are by the fire and you are warm, your honeyed tea beside you."

She leans against him and he starts for home; her hands are too cold to write, but she whispers, "Everything is ending, Thomas."

"No, it isn't. I know it feels that way and there is a hole in your heart where he should be, but please...we aren't ending, so it can't be everything." He dreads his next question but asks it anyway, "Are we?"

She shakes her head and starts crying on his shoulder.

"This isn't just about your father, is it?"