Lizzie's Song

Chapter 29- Plans

Sitting at Rebecca's kitchen table, Thomas fidgets with the edge of his waistcoat. Lizzie notices and takes his hand, folding his fingers in hers. Rebecca has given them the legal options for marriage. While Lizzie would like to follow her mother's tradition, it was also how he married Margaret and he is deeply uncomfortable with repeating anything of his former marriages. They will ride to Carlisle to pay for the license.

"I have seen Lizzie's daydreams from long ago. I have heard both of you discussing the changes to them. Including the wish not to have an audience. But you will still need witnesses."

Lizzie writes, "Aunt Helga is far too sick to serve- she made an appearance at the memorial, but it is the first time I have seen her out of bed in weeks. She is likely to die this winter. Would you be willing to serve in that role?"

"Of course. I would be honoured. And as I cannot officially be your priest, I will sign it for the crown. And your second?"

Thomas thinks a moment, "Nathaniel. He is our brother. It seems only right to include him."

"Even with his participation in last night?"

"He was the kindest amongst them, Rebecca. And we have little else in the way of friends or family left."

"I understand. But they were damned cruel and I don't wish this day to be harder for you than it already will be."

He turns to Lizzie, "Thoughts?"

"I think Nathaniel is a good choice. He and I have been so very close over the years. And from what I heard, he does trust you. He wanted you to understand why the others were asking what they did."

"Then we will talk to him in a few days. I don't want to travel in this weather, though. The road to Carlisle is likely difficult."

"We are in no rush. I will send for silk to make my dress and then I will talk to my aunt so she knows our good news before she dies. And hopefully she will live to see me a bride. If not, she will rest easy knowing I will be cared for so well." Lizzie leans against Thomas and he kisses her cheek.

Rebecca watches them, smiling, "You are a lovely couple. I will talk to Brother Mort. We will make you a ceremony like none other, something simple that suits."

"He will consent to marry us? My sister did try to kill him."

"Aye, and he has worried about you ever since. Don't fret about Mort. We will talk. And you will be fine. Just decide on your place, your clothes, and we will be there ready." Rebecca lets them stay at her kitchen table, daydreaming, for the better part of the day. She makes lunch, and then supper, and when Lizzie decides that she will wear blue, she brings a box from the other room and begins to make silk flowers from scraps, adding them to those she already has tucked in a drawer wrapped in cotton. Lizzie does not want to wait until the flowers bloom.

After supper, Thaddeus returns to find them at his table, "Ah. Just the people I need to see."

Thomas draws his arms protectively around Lizzie, "Oh?"

"I've spent all afternoon talking to the boys. Rog. Mal. Nathaniel. We were a band of damned fools last night. Rude, inconsiderate, and hurtful fools. Becca here set me straight this morning. We weren't afraid for her. We were only thinking of ourselves. And she's right. We didn't look past the end of our noses. So I'm sorry for my part in it. Your brother's given us all a tongue lashing we won't soon forget. I hope you'll forgive me."

Thomas takes in a long breath and slowly lets it out, "In time. But you broke something last night. Especially Mal. I thought you trusted me. I thought you knew me for who I was, not for who my father was. I can't forget that. I've spent plenty of nights worrying about the same, hating that I carry his name. Hating that I see his mannerisms in the way I cut bread and even the odd way I sometimes hold a fork- little manners I picked up and some I learned out of terror. And you confirmed the worst fears I have with your accusation that perhaps I would hurt Lizzie because I am his son."