Lizzie's Song

Chapter 14- The Condemned Cell

Lizzie and Mr York return to the village while Thomas is moved to the condemned cell. There are guards here at all times, and the cell is lit inside and out all day and all night so they can make sure he does not kill himself. He knows what happens next. The Home Secretary will decide whether or not he is to be granted mercy. Then he will have only a week to appeal the decision. After that, he will hang.

He spends his first week worrying about Lizzie, hoping she has recovered from her coughing and that she is doing well in the village. He tries not to wonder to much about what she is doing or if she thinks of him, but it is difficult and he yearns so much for the sound of her little cart clattering down the stone halls to bring food and a little companionship. He misses her smile. Her signs. How she would tap her head to ask what he was thinking or press a hand over her heart and point to him to ask how he felt. He knows thinking of her so often is dangerous and doing exactly what he told himself he would not do- he would not let himself become attached. But as she is not here and the only person it will hurt is himself, he resigns and lets himself think fondly of her.

Men come to interview him for the Home Secretary. They are there to determine if he is sane enough for hanging or if they have a madman on their hands that should, instead, be locked away in Bedlam. The interview is short, the questions they ask simple and direct. He answers the best he can. He knows he could cheat, he could play insane in the hopes that the crown would spare his life, but it does not seem to be worth the effort. And he has spent enough of his life around lies and explosively unpredictable people. There is no sense avoiding his fate, and it is likely better than being stuck in an asylum.

Thomas starts writing to the Yorks every other day. The letters are short. He asks for news about life in the village. Is everyone well? Have Ezra and Victoria set a wedding date? And are there any new inmates in the jail? And the letters that come in return answer his questions and more. They are mostly written by Mr York, but others contribute as well. One week, Rebecca responds. Another, Nathaniel. And Helga takes another week, her handwriting as big and looping as her personality. He has been waiting for a month when his first note arrives from Lizzie.

Thomas,

I recovered with little difficulty from my fit in the courtroom. I hope it did not impede the trial any. I did my best to be truthful. I did not want to hurt you and I have been praying that my testimony did not damn you. I have not seen what the papers are saying about the assize cases. We do not get them here very often. For once, I am grateful that the outside world has forgotten our little village.

I have been thinking about you often. I have hesitated writing because I did not want to say things wrong or to trip on my words and make things harder on you. I have muddled through this letter four or five times before settling on this draft. It is as careful as I can be.

In case they hang you before I am able to write again, thank you for your kindness and your honest listening ear (or, rather, reading eyes). You are one of the first men that has not known me since childhood who has seen me as a whole person, not just as a mute potential wife.

Sincerely,

Lizzie York.

The letters both soothe and hurt. He is happy that there are people willing to write to him, that Rebecca is burning holy herbs for him in her witching, and, in a strange way, that Thaddeus has volunteered to bury him when the time comes. Having seen the care they gave Lucille, this is a comfort.

But Thomas also worries, and he hates the wait, and eventually he works himself into a despondence and tries to stab himself in the stomach with his supper fork. His guards easily stop him. One takes the rest of the tableware out while he other sits down beside him.