Lizzie's Song

Chapter 17- The Longest Walk

Lizzie writes to Thomas about her new inmates. One is a young man who has been jailed for beating his girlfriend. He leers at her, mocks her, and, one day, throws his soup at her as she leaves to deliver the others supper. There is also an older man, heavy set, who has trouble seeing and calls her "little girl" whenever she serves him his meals, but is otherwise not unpleasant. He is in jail for stealing a cow and slaughtering it in the street. Thomas writes back with sympathy, careful to keep his letters distant and void of most of his thoughts- he prefers to react to her predicaments, rather than try to interject his own feelings into the matter. That would require he acknowledge they exist.

Mr Hayes comes to him with a letter and a grim expression early one morning while Thomas is eating his porridge, "Well, Mr Sharpe, I've got some news."

Thomas sets his bowl aside and braces himself, "Tell me truthfully, sir."

"The Home Office wants the law to take its course. You have an appeal, but-"

"No. There is no sense in that. How long?"

"One week. I've sent a letter to the Yorks. We'll wait until we either hear from them, or they arrive."

"I've asked that Lizzie not come."

"And I know Reg a little better than you, son. He'll be here if he's alive to do so. We'll wait until he can stand by you."

"Oh. Thank you."

"Do you want me to send a preacher? Priest? Rabbi?"

"No thank you."

Mr Hayes studies his ward; he is calm, but it is the kind of calm that he knows won't last- the calm that comes from a man struggling to grasp what he has been told. Despair usually comes next, sometimes anger. He warns the guards on his way back to his office.

Thomas stares at the floor for most of the day. He has a date. One week. There are things he suddenly wants to write, but he tells himself that he has already said them. He has told Edith his regrets. He has told Lizzie enough...or, rather, he will have, once she reads the letter in her notebook. He wants to thank Mr York, but knows that he would fumble his words and that Mr York already likely knows he is grateful. He will tell someone to pass along the message after he is already dead.

The week goes slowly and there are no more letters, no more visits; the day of his execution, Gerry enters before breakfast, "So...do you have any last requests, Mr Sharpe? Words you want said to anyone?"

"I would like to skip breakfast and get this over with as quickly as possible."

Gerry nods, "I'll send for Mr Hayes. He'll come for you when it's time." He pauses, "Do you want to talk about anything before we make the walk?"

"Do you do this often?"

"For every man I'm assigned to, yes. I stay until the last. Nobody dies without a familiar face nearby."

"I am grateful for all you have done to keep me company during the time I have been here. Thank you for your kindness."

"You're welcome. Any messages for others?"

"Will you thank Mr York for all he did for me? And for trusting me with Lizzie?"

"Of course. Anyone else?"

"No. Yes. Have him thank the others who were so gracious to Lucille in death. And those who ended us. Allerdale Hall is theirs to do with whatever they wish. Thank god this is all over."

Gerry nods, "It will be soon. I'll go talk to Mr Hayes." The other guard is still in place. Thomas takes in his surroundings one more time. The cot. The books and periodicals he has borrowed. The belt still hanging from the bars on the window. He hears footsteps