Too Complicated

Chapter 59.

Six months.

Six months since I have left America and came here to Australia. I left my friends behind and my family, and even though I've kept in touch with them, I can't wait for the day I go back.

I still remember the first day I got here, how foreign it was.

I looked around the small area that my dad told me to wait. And then I saw him, wearing a suit and tie with a big smile on his face. I ran over to him, wrapping my arms around him and cried. I should've called him more, but I was there now, that's all I had to worry about.

The first day, I was feeling pretty down. I was missing my brother and mom and my friends. I was missing people that I talked to in class and I was missing my bed. Australia was almost a full twenty four hours behind America so I slept most the day. That didn't stop me from feeling the effects of being away from home, though. Gavin had met me in my dreams again, and I woke up crying and to my dad rushing into my room.

I think that's when he realized just how messed up I was. I also think that's why he set me up with a therapist after the first week here.

I was skeptical, I didn't really believe in therapists. I didn't think they could tell me anything that I didn't already know. I was wrong. Doctor Jane helped me through a lot. She diagnosed me with a mild case of depression and put me on some pills that help. She talked to me, made me feel worth her while. For the first time in the past few weeks, it had felt good to cry.

I visited here three times a week, something that helped immensely. I went to class, got my work done and somewhat made friends. One of them being Mike, I was the first one he came out to about being gay and I felt good about that. I told him he could trust me and we've been friends ever since.

The first month here, I didn't do much. I was at home a lot, watching tv, eating and playing on my phone. I just wasn't up to anything.

The second month was when I went out to the store. It was the first time I got out besides school and I can't deny it felt good. I was slowly getting my life back and that's one of the best feelings to have.

The third month wasn't much different, I didn't get out much beside school, but I was fine with that. Doctor Jane really helped me through some of the issues I was having with going out into the world. Her exact words were...

"You can't be afraid to go outside because you think someone like Gavin will come along," she told me. "You need to be afraid to go outside because there's a bomb about to explode."

As much as I didn't want to admit that that was the exact reason I didn't like going out, I couldn't help, but take in every word. I shouldn't have feared going out and meeting new people because of Gavin, I needed to forget about him.

The fourth month was when I met Mike. He had told me he noticed me a few times in our third hour, but said I looked so unapproachable that he didn't want to bother me. I laughed at that. I wasn't exactly the most cheerful person the last months. Despite all that, Mike became a good friend of mine. He always had a way to make me laugh and that was exactly what I needed.

The fifth month was the first time I went out to shop for clothes. Of course, Mike accompanied me on that trip. We went to their mall and looked around all the clothes until we successful found me a whole new wardrobe.

Apparently, sweatpants and hoodies weren't attractive. Not that I was trying to get attention, but Mike ensured I should. So, I bought some new clothes and I had to admit, it felt good. On top of all that, I got my hair cut. It had grown all the way down to my butt the past couple of months so I cut it just short enough to there it hit my belly button. I got a few layers, making me feel even better.