Too Complicated

Chapter 84.

Two Weeks Later.

"It's been over two weeks, Bella," Tammy places her hand on mine. "Don't you think you're being a little harsh."

Maybe.

I shrug instead. "You don't know what it's like, Tammy, seeing his face after knowing what he did. It was hard enough after what he did to me, but knowing that he did it to another girl..."

I can't get the words out. Two weeks, yes, that I've gone without talking to my boyfriend, but I have my reasons. I needed a bit of a breather from him once he told me that story.

"Look," Tammy sighs, shifting in her chair. My salad has been completely forgotten for the time being. "I can't imagine what you must be feeling after he told you all this, but look at it this way. It was one other girl, sure what he did was completely wrong and revolting, but at least it wasn't a huge group of girls. And he stopped. After you, he never thought to do any of this again."

I look out the window of the restaurant, contemplating her words. I mean, yes, it was only one other girl, and yes, he stopped after what happened with me, but he still did these things. He did these things that usually are only read about in books or seen in movies. It's hard to come to terms with.

"No one is asking you to forget about what he did," Tammy adds, her soft voice making me want to cry. "But we all know that you can't live without him and he can't live without you."

•••

I chew on my bottom lip, my hand raising to knock on the door, but then it falls again. This has been going on for a good five minutes. I'll encourage myself to do it, but then I'll also talk myself out of it. I don't know why I'm acting like this, this is Gavin we're talking about, my boyfriend.

I wrap my knuckles against the door before I can even give myself a chance to back down again. It takes a good ten seconds before Gavin answers the door and when he does I cringe.

Messy hair, no shirt, unshaven scruff, dark bags, hooded eyes; he looks like shit.

"Hi," I whisper, my voice small.

"Hey," he looks surprised, but he seems more awake now than before. "I didn't expect to see you here or I would've cleaned up-"

"Can we talk?" I ask, begging almost. "Please."

"Of course," he says, clearing his throat before moving aside to let me in. Upon the looks of it, I would say no one is home. "Let's go up to my room, yeah?"

I nod and follow him up the staircase to where his room is located. I suck in a sharp breath at the mess of it all. By the looks of it, it seems he trashed his room. If I were to assume the reason, I'd say because of what went down two weeks ago.

"Sorry about the mess," he cringes, picking up a pile of clothes and shoving them into a basket. His cleaning style makes me want to do it for him, but it'd take me hours to make this mess look good again. No offense to him or anything.

"Were you mad at me or Darren?" I question, eyeing the hole in his wall as I walk over to his bed. At least this is made.

"Both," he lets out a breath, picking up a few more things before leaning against his desk and staring at me. I momentarily get distracted by his bulging muscles when he crosses his arms, but I shake myself out of it. Sex won't solve problems. It'll just put them off. We need to talk.

"You must know why I requested for some time to think," I say in a small voice. I feel like I'm always asking for time.

He jerks a hand through his hair, releasing a harsh breath. "Did it help?"