The Fallen

Chapter V

It's painful, but I could never tell. I don't want to bother anyone with my egotistical reason and have their pity towards me. It would be impropriate, it would be disgusting and it would just make me feel bad. But the constricting inside my chest won't cease, I already took the pill that settles it but it seems not to be working. My vision was starting to get hazy and my head was starting to feel foggy as I watched myself on the mirror in front of the sink inside my bedroom. I was terribly pale. Those once pinkish lips were turning white and my eyes were droopy as my breathing become ragged and a huge bruise managed to form on my hand.

I was diagnosed with leukemia.

I figured it out when I was 18 and taking medical examination for my training At first I thought that it was just random bruising that happen to me unconsciously but when the result came out, I was shocked to even figure out that it was leukemia. I doubt that Seungcheol know it because I told his father not to tell him a thing and since I was a lot stronger back then and it wasn't like I was always experiencing such episode, I just decided to keep it away from people but I know that there were things that won't be kept hidden forever and that was what I was afraid of.

Whenever a bruise would appear, I would try concealing it and pretend that everything was going fine. The physician told me that I was strong, that my immune system was helping me but not every time, your bodily cells would act on it. I take secret medication from doctor that I can trust and was hired by Seungcheol's father. I know that it was rude keeping it but I don't want to bother people anymore. I don't want my family to get worried so it was better to keep it and I know that I was getting better so I really took no mind about such trivial things.

But what was happening with me right now was confusing. The symptoms was once gone but how come that it was returning? I wasn't even tiring myself to the point that my body would drop and my job was considered so why was even I'm under this pain?

My legs trembled and I dropped on the floor, still clinging to the sink to support myself. I don't know what was supposed to happen to me but suddenly, someone knocked on the bathroom's door and I was glad that they did, at least I was a bit destructed from myself thought.

"JOSHUA?!" he called onto my name and I can't help but feel happy. "WHAT'S TAKING YOU SO LONG?"

"I..IT'S NOTHING.." I yelled back but a whimper escaped my mouth as my chest tightens once again. I heaved myself up with the use of the sink and opened the door of the bathroom to see Jeonghan's worried face. He was carrying my tablet on his chest as he stood in the bathroom's entrance.

"You're so pale. What's wrong?" he asked then walked towards me, touching my cheeks with his warm hands and staring gorgeously with his blue eyes. I was still enthralled by the warmness emitting from this strange person standing in front of me. I didn't even noticed that it was already a month when he came to me and even if I really wanted to kick him out sometimes because he always annoys me, I wasn't doing it. I was already attached to him to the point that I was thinking that I was affectionate of him. But then when I would realize that he was a guy, I would suddenly feel sad not because I was afraid of loving, but I was afraid with the changes.

I heaved a sigh, feeling my legs once again and went directly to my bed wherein I slumpedon my stomach and took a deep breath as the pain in my chest starts to disappear, seems that the drug was working on it and I was glad.

"Are you really alright?" he popped next to me and felt the bed sink on the edge, sign that he was next to me. Why was he even bothering me? It was my own personal space yet he still invade it without even asking for permission. I already told him to use the guest room but he wasn't doing it and instead, walk in here every night and snuggle beside me when I was knocked out so I stopped trying to shove him away from me and just let him do whatever the hell he wants.