zodiac short stories

The Signs on a Road Trip

The signs are taking a road trip in Leo's RV, and Taurus is driving.

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Pisces: Are we there yet?

Taurus Shut up Pisces, the answer is no.

Pisces: --cries into Cancer's shoulder-- TAURUS TOLD ME TO SHUT UP! --sobs--

Cancer: WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN, TAURUS?!

Virgo: Taurus is just mad because we haven't been out of this RV for 8 hours.

Taurus: --eats Twinkie-- IM TRYING TO GET THERE AS FAST AS I CAN LEAVE ME ALONE

Sagittarius: --throws drink out the window-- FUCK YOU SODA

Scorpio: dude chill

Sagittarius: I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!! --starts smashing head against table--

Virgo: --puts a pillow underneath Sagittarius' head--

Aries: Why don't we stop at a rest stop?

Cancer: Yeah we totally should!

Pisces: Can I get cotton candy?!

Scorpio: I'll buy it for you babe. --immediately regrets showing sign of weakness because he is a meanie--

Pisces: --hugs Scorpio-- Yay!

Virgo: omg guys look Scorpio has a heart

Scorpio: --peels super happy Pisces off him-- I will cut you

Gemini: I'm going to practice my gymnastics when we get out of here, because I'm like super good at gymnastics.

Capricorn: --pretends to strangle Gemini-- I bet you are!

Libra: --slaps Capricorn, at the same time posts on blog--

Capricorn: LIBRA WHAT THE FU- --gets interrupted--

Leo: CAN ALL OF YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP

Aquarius: --giggles--

Leo: I WILL BITE YOU AQUARIUS

Aquarius: --stops giggling-- sorry

Taurus: OKAY HERE IS THE REST STOP!

Everyone: YAY!

Taurus: NOW GET THE HELL OFF THE RV

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All the signs are walking to the rest stop building.

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Gemini: --drags Libra to the building because he won't get off his phone-- PUT THE DAMN PHONE DOWN

Libra: lol no

Scorpio: --pours water on Libra-- get the hell up

Libra: SCORPIO OMFG I HAD MY PHONE IN MY HAND I COULD HAVE DIED WHAT IF I CHOKED ON THAT WATER YOU ASSHOLE

Gemini: --falls to the ground laughing--

Scorpio: --starts walking with Virgo and Capricorn--

Virgo: I need hand sanitizer --pours entire bottle of Purell on her hands--

Capricorn: That's a lot of hand sanitizer...

Virgo: Rest stops are nasty and filled with diseases, you can never be too careful!

Sagittarius: --runs out of the RV-- FREEDOM IS MINE --pulls Aries along with her--

Aries: SAG SLOW DOWN OMFG

Aquarius: --walking with Leo-- God why won't they all shut up?

Leo: I'll be back. --disappears into the darkness--

Pisces: --arms locked with Cancer-- LETS GO GET SOME CANDY!!

Cancer: FUCK YEAH --run to building with Pisces--

---

The signs are in the rest stop shopping.

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Sagittarius: OOO LOOK AT THESE --grabs snow globe off shelf, hits elbow on shelf, knocking over all the other snow globes--

Aquarius: --jumps to the ground and saves snow globes--

Aries: --slaps Sagittarius-- look what you did dumb ass

Sagittarius: --wipes around, throws snow globes on the ground-- YOU WANNA GO?? CUZ ILL FIGHT YOU!!

Aries: YEAH I WANNA FIGHT COME AT ME BRO

Sagittarius: --wrestles Aries to the ground--

Scorpio: --is recording the whole ideal on his phone-- KICK HER ASS ARIES

Virgo: --grabs Scorpio-- lets go

Scorpio: NOOOOO

Pisces: --twitching-- BUY ME COTTON CANDY BITCH

Scorpio: Jesus Christ okay --buys cotton candy and hands it to Pisces--

Pisces: --squeals-- YAY --hugs Scorpio--

Capricorn: --laughs at Scorpio-- --looks at Virgo-- tf are you doing?

Virgo: --is buying 70 bottles of Purell-- You never know when you'll need it.

Libra: --comes out of bathroom with Gemini, still complaining about water being poured on him--

Libra: WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO MEEEE --sees 5sos cd-- OMFG --runs and buys the cd--

Gemini: --cartwheels over to Virgo-- you need therapy for your ocd lmao

Virgo: fuck off

Gemini: ok

Taurus: --is buying three pounds of m&ms-- Wait, where are the keys to the RV?

Cancer: --runs in screaming--

Aquarius: What's wrong?

Cancer: --out of breath-- LEO IS CHASING ME AND PISCES WITH THE RV

Scorpio: WHO LET LEO DRIVE THE RV

--all look at Taurus--

Taurus: What? I didn't want to drive anymore

--RV crashes into building--

Leo: GET IN LOSERS WE ARE LEAVING NOW

--all of them shocked hop in RV--

(back in the RV)

Aquarius: We all need to pray the police won't come after us.

Sagittarius: They can't arrest us we're zodiac signs lmao

Aquarius: tru

Pisces: --sings campfire song with Cancer-- C A M P F I R E S O N G

Aries: --holds Scorpio down so he won't strangle them--

Aries: breathe Scorpio

Scorpio: I CANT THEY'RE ANNOYING ME SO MUCH AMDGVKH

Virgo: --hands Scorpio teddy bear--

Scorpio: --rips head off teddy bear-- thank you

Aquarius: This trip better be over soon.

BY Catherinemalanaphy ON TUMBLR

thanks for 500 reads :3