zodiac short stories

The Signs on a... Game Show?

Team Red: Virgo, Aries, Sagittarius, Gemini, Taurus, Pisces
Team Blue: Scorpio, Leo, Libra, Aquarius, Cancer, Capricorn

"*Ophiuchus is, according to the stars, the "thirteenth zodiac"."

*he's  only going to be in this chapter.

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Ophiuchus: Hello readers! I hope you are enjoying this story, and as a treat, here is a special chapter featuring me, Ophiuchus as your host!

Virgo: Wait, who the fuck are you?

Leo: And how did we get on this bright stage?

Scorpio: There are people reading about us?

Ophiuchus: ENOUGH QUESTIONS THAT'S MY JOB. Anyways, as you can see, Author~chan is running out of ideas, so today we're doing a game show!

Gemini: Author? There's an author?

Libra: WTF WHERE IS SHE

Ophiuchus: Let's start with Team Blue!

Pisces: Wait, are you even a zodiac si-

Ophiuchus: Your question is, what is Gemini's favorite Christmas ornament?

Sagittarius: um what

Cancer: why do people have favorite Christmas ornaments

Libra: WHO THE FUCK SHOULD KNOW THAT

Gemini: --laughing-- watch them get this wrong

Aquarius: LIBRA YOU OF ALL PEOPLE WOULD KNOW

Libra: I DATED HER FOR LIKE 4 MONTHS THIS STATEMENT WAS NEVER BROUGHT UP

Capricorn: OH OH OH --presses the buzzer-- ITS THE CONE ONE

Gemini: DAMMIT

Ophiuchus: Correct!

Taurus: gemini what the hell

Gemini: IT LOOKS COOL OK

Ophiuchus: Next question for Team Red! Which gem in the tv show Steven Universe was trapped in a mi-

Virgo: --slams the buzzer-- it wAS LAPIS LAZULI SHE VISITED EARTH AND GOT STUCK IN A GEM WAR AND WAS POOFED BY BISMUTH AND MISTAKEN FOR A TOOL SO ANOTHER GEM PUT HER IN A MIRROR AND WAS LEFT FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS UNTIL SHE WAS FOUND BY PEARL BUT STILL WAS TRAPPED-

Aries: ALRIGHT WE GET IT NEXT QUESTION YOU FAKE... ZODIAC... PERSON

Ophiuchus: --clears his throat-- Right. AND IM NOT FAKE NASA SAID SO. Correct answer, Virgo! Next question for Team Blue. Why did Pisces start watching anime?

Cancer: --hits the buzzer softly-- Because it's cute?

Ophiuchus: Wrong.

Leo: --hits the buzzer-- Because she spends 6 hours on Tumblr a day?

Ophiuchus: Wrong.

Pisces: HEY!

Pisces: its 4 hours

Ophiuchus: The correct answer is because Scorpio told her to.

Capricorn: Scorpio you watch anime?

Scorpio: ........no

Ophiuchus: We'll be right back after our sponsors!

Gemini: Wait, what sponsors?

Sagittarius: WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE

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A few commercials later...

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Ophiuchus: Hello readers, welcome back to our special chapter game show! Here we are joined by the 12 zodiac signs and myself. Next question, and the last, is for Team Red. --clears his throat--

Ophiuchus: Next question. What is Aquarius' favorite band?

Aquarius: oh great

Taurus: That's impossible to answer. We'll never get this right.

Sagittarius: You listen to so many!

Pisces: Hmmmm... --hits the buzzer-- WE THE KINGS FINAL ANSWER

Ophiuchus: Wrong.

Aquarius: Pisces I don't listen to bands from 2008 thank you very much

Taurus: --hits the buzzer--Twenty One Pilots?

Ophiuchus: Wrong.

Gemini: GUYS IF WE MISS THIS ONE MORE TIME WE LOSE

Aries: WHO CARES --slaps the buzzer-- ABOUT THIS STUPID --slaps the buzzer-- GAME SHOW

Gemini: Aries calm down-

Pisces: NO ARIES IS RIGHT THIS IS DUMB

Sagittarius: FUCK THIS

Taurus: ye im hungry again lets leave

Virgo: Taurus you are an hour ago

Ophiuchus: Oh well then... I-I hope you enjoyed this chapter... stay tuned for the next- AH --almost gets hit by a chair--

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Leave ideas for "The Signs-" chapters!

I'm such a rebel posting this at school lol