Murdered Love [A Dusttale x Undertale Sanscest Story]

DEPRESSING AUTHOR'S NOTE

Hehe, this entry is bit personal and depressing. . . Anyway like I mentioned some times before I already said my mind is 'fragile' and my past and mental condition makes me have a lot of trigger like why romance is a bit of a thing for me. Just seeing that word for some reason just sends me a tornado of emotions like anything having to do with 'L-O-V-E' in general makes me have a mental breakdown. Due to the fact that everyone I meet hooks up and when/if the break up, I'm stuck in the fucking middle dealing with bullshit about how they're lonely and shit when I've been through 3 relationships were they always force me to do shit as if I were there fucking slave.

That's only scratching the surface cause well any relationship I ever fucking had, wether friendship or mutual, ended with the worst. It's always the same damn shit as well. 1, They start ignoring. 2, I feel doubt and confront them, they lie and assure me. 2, THEY FUCKING LIE AGAIN! 3, They reassure except this time it's way more fucking obvious. 4, avoid me. 5, humiliate me, using every weakness they learned I had against me. Usually they always admit they were only my friends outta pity. Saying that seeing me sit alone and far away from everyone like a scared bird just brought them down. And then rant about how they regret feeling pity for such a annoying piece of shit. hahahaha. . .

Yeah, my MPD isn't helping since Voice is the reason I force myself to cut. There's a glitchy voice that sounds like my personna laughing and calling me stuff like a dumb slut. One that's the reason for my fears. And then there's the kuudere ass me. Who'll never try to make friends in real life every fucking again.

On the rare ocassion I slip up in front of my crush, like why the fuck I would have one in the damn first place fucking baffles my dumb ass, they begin lying. That's when they start toying with my fucking emotions, making me attached when I want the emotions to go away. Only for them to fucking damn hook up with your other friend. It makes me not blame yanderes for what they fucking do. So I'm goung through this damn epidemic currently. It made me cringe when they sent me a picture mostly, it made me have a mental breakdown mostly cause they txted words doing with the one topic you should never bring up around me.

When they txted this, I broke my 3 week record of avoiding cutting and now, MY FUCKING LEGS ARE DAMN NUMB AND MY MENTAL STATE WENT FROM BETTER TO WORSE LIKE IT WAS BEFORE! . . . sorry, I'm losing my cool here. But, I just wanted to say, my frequent uploading dates may decrease and my mood will probs give off a depressing or akward vibe. I'm fucking useless and ugly like that anyway. . . . hehe, this depressed mother fucker will se you next time. . . sorry for how fucking drepressing this fucking is. . . I'll still upload though, It'll just seem. . off.

The song above basically explains my fucking shit excuse of a life right now.