Levi X Reader | One-Shots & Mini-Series | Heavy Editing

Goodbye Levi

*Please Play Music For Full Immersion*
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Were you two even a couple anymore?

Was this what having a partner was like?

Was being in a relationship with a rift this large healthy for the two of you?

Questions like these became your predominant thoughts nowadays. Each day that passed had you grow even more riddled with negative thoughts towards your relationship with Levi.

This fracture in your relationship was caused when Levi lost four good friends. You expected him to have a hard time with it; to put the blame upon himself, in which you would always try to tell him that he wasn't right, that he didn't cause their deaths.

Try.

That's good word for it. The amount of times you had tried to help him get through this burdens and yet you seemed to be the burden. You succeeded in only one thing, and that was pissing him off.

You felt like such a useless girlfriend. You knew that he knew so many other people that understood his complexity better than you did. At times you were so grateful to have the honour to become his girlfriend, and at others you felt like you were not able to cater his needs. Scratch that, you were certain that you couldn't cater his needs.

You just weren't right for him and it was the  burden that you were carrying and yet it was too heavy for you to bare. This uselessness was infecting your soul, contaminating your thoughts.

You were selfish. No doubt. Even when Levi was the one in need, all you could think about was how you felt. This was your fault.

You were the reason why Levi was suffering more than he had to. Simply because you were too weak to help him.

* * *

"Levi, please don't lock yourself in that room!" You called to him weakly. You were answered with the sound of the lock clicking. "Pl-ease. Let me i-n," You whispered so quietly that even you could barely hear yourself. You slid down the other side of the door and wrapped your arms around your knees.

"Go away." So blunt his words were. His voice so cold. You felt it slowly start to layer your heart with thin frost.

"I-I'm so-rry. I'm so ba-dly trying to h-help and I just can't. I'll leave you alone." With that, not caring whether or not he had heard you, you walked to your living room and grabbed a quilt from the couch and curled into a ball on Levi's side of the two-seater sofa and silently whimpered to yourself.

* * *

Even now, as you quickly glanced at your beloved as he made himself some tea, you realised just how much you didn't recognise him. It was like you were blinded from seeing his facial features. Just a blurred face.

'This is my fault. It's my fault for putting him through so much more than he had to.'

You stood from your seat and left the room without saying a word. Finding your way into your room, you made your way to your side and collapsed onto it, letting tears fall.

"I'm such a sel-fish little bitch." Whispering this quiet became something you mastered.

You turned your head to look at the picture  you had the other of you framed on your bedside-locker. You smiled gently albeit shakily.

'I'll give him the life he deserves. A life where he doesn't have someone like me constantly weighing him down.'

You lifted yourself from the bed you shared and walked yourself down the halls that you both decorated with pictures of each other with past and present family and friends. Finally you went back into the kitchen where you saw Levi.

'I just wish I could see the face I love so much. Yet, I'm glad I'm punished for doing this to him.'

"U-Um, Levi. C-Could we please chat for a mom-ent?" You requested, your voice already cracking.

"What is it?" He asked and closed his newspaper. The cold voice he used had finally finished frosting your heart. It felt cold; you felt cold. You felt alone.

"Um. . . I-I. . ." You glanced up at him, you could see him becoming impatient. "I-I don't thi-nk this is work-ing out for us."

". . ." Silence. Was he happy? Was he trying to find words to console you?

This silence was painful. Each moment it took him to answer, the more you could feel the ice cut into your heart.

"Why?"

"B-Because I-I can't help y-you. Be-cause all I ever do is m-ake you angry. Because you deserve so much m-ore than me. Someone who isn't selfish, l-like me, or weak like me or worth-less, like me. I'm not a good girlfriend. I've caused y-you so much grief and I-I don't want to drag you d-own and--" You couldn't finish. Your heart had finally been severed all the way through. You started bawling into your hands and stood up. "I'm so. . . sorry that I've caused you all this pain and depression."

You bolted out of the room and made your way to pack. You quickly got your bag and stuffed whatever you needed for the time being and closed it up. Once you pivoted to walk out the door, there stood Levi. Whoever had taken your ability to see his face granted it back, but only so you could see just how miserable he looked. To see just what you had done to him.

"L-evi. Please, d-don't think I don't lo-ve you. Because I do, with ev-ery ounce of my he-art."

"Then why are going?"

"I to-ld you. You're n-ot getting better with me around. All I'm doing is weighing you down and keep-ing you from moving past all your problems. I love you, but I have to let you go." There you went again-- causing him more pain.

"Why do you get decide what's right and wrong for me?" 

"I don't but, I know me better than anyone and that I'm not benefitting you," You said softly. You cupped his cheeks in your hands, caressing them and gently smiled with tears still cascading down your cheeks.

"I love you. I always will."

"Goodbye Levi."

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I might make a part 2 for this in awhile!

Thanks for 60k reads!!!