Sell Your Soul (a Supernatural Fanfiction)

The last breath part I

"Dean- this is it," I breathed, choking the tears back. I had two days left. I still hadn't really put the parts together that in two short days I wouldn't be here anymore, I would be in hell. Its not like moving houses as a child, or moving out on your own and detaching from your parents. No. You're switching worlds, going from somewhat peace to well, literal hell.

"Please... Jo let's not think about that right now," he closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to my cheek, keeping my hand to his lips. I felt their slight chap against my skin. He never used chapstick, apparently cherry lips aren't manly.

"Dean I-" I cut myself off. I what? I can't not think about it? Its all that has been on my mind for days.

I tore the covers off of my nearly naked body and shrugged on my jeans that sprawled across the floor seconds ago. I left my tank top on. I padded out the door before Dean even got out from under the blanket.

I wasn't hungry for breakfast. I sat in the chair and read for about 30 minutes until Sam came out and greeted me with wild eyes and hair to match. "Come here," I said, wriggling my finger.

He obliged and sat in front of me. I grabbed a brush off the side table and gently tugged it through his thick locks. It was starting to get long enough for the man bun style, but he wasn't very good at it yet. Mainly because every morning, we sat in this very spot and I brushed it back and put it back in a clear elastic the same way for the past month or so. Tomorrow would be the last.

"Thanks Jordan," he said as he turned to look at me. "You know, jess used to put me to sleep running her fingers through my hair. When I would have nightmares, all the would have to do is lay with me, playing with my hair and I would be fast asleep again," he smiled at the memory.

"I wish I could have met her," I said. He nodded, looking at his hands. "You would have liked Cody if you would have gotten to know him better. I know you guys are mad at him because he left but... But he's not bad. He's amazing," I let myself trail off. Sam nodded and stood.

"I'm going to go get breakfast," he said.

__________

As I Sat in bed, I stared at the clock. It read 3:42a.m. I sighed and stood up. Dean stirred but never woke up. I pulled on sweats and my boots, grabbing one of Deans flannels and headed for the door, needing some fresh air to clear my head. I missed Cody. I looked down at my phone and hit call. I heard it ring eight times like it always did, and the same recording of his voice. "Cody I'm almost gone. I don't even know what to think about it. I know you didn't ask For it, but I did this for you. I would do it a hundred times over for you. The least you could do would be to answer your god damn phone before it's too late. Its not like a grudge will matter much once I'm in hell, anyway. So, call me, don't, whatever. Just know you have 20, maybe 21 hours to say goodbye."

I hung up the phone. A hollow shiver ran down my spine. This was really it, wasn't it? My phone buzzed and played the usual notification noise, it was Sam.
"I heard you get up. You okay?" it read.
"Not really"
"Come back to the bunker we can talk. I can't sleep either"
I pushed my phone back into my pocket and started back toward the bunker. The tan dirt beneath my feet looked black in the moonlight. Each star had it's own level of brightness, some dull and some like a diamond. The wind blew the small blades of grass that spewed up in random places around the dirt driveway. It chilled my legs under my thin sweats. I could smell Dean in my shirt, like salt and the light hint of fresh laundry. I had never noticed these things before, the way the rocks stuck out of the path or how my right foot pointed out slightly when I walked slow. I wouldn't get to notice these things again.

When I walked up on the bunker, Sam opened it, obviously he saw me. I hugged him as soon as it flung open. I didn't barely reach his shoulder with my head, which made the hug warm and comforting. I felt like I could get lost in the minty smell that radiated off of him or the way he slightly stroked between my shoulder blades, not as if I were fragile but as if he was somewhere else in thought. "Sam?" I breathed. I didn't want to cry.

"Yeah?"
"When I go, don't cry please. Don't mourn. Just... Find Cody for me. And when you do, get Dean to face his fear of planes. You guys can all go skydiving together. For Halloween you guys should all dress up as clowns, you can face yours. And, if you could, when I'm gone, face mine for me too?" he looked at me with sad eyes.
"And what's yours?"
"Tell my dad that I'm sorry. For not stopping it..."
"Stopping what?"
"When I was 14, this... Thing came for my family. I don't know what it was. And it hurt my mom. Bad. She died in my dad's arms, and I didn't do anything to stop it. I stood in the doorway and watched her die. And my dad blames me for it. Tell him I'm sorry, please?"
Sam wrapped me back into his arms and whispered, "okay, jo. I will." and kissed my head.