fate → muke

- ww -

   "fucking hell," luke screamed, ransacking the dorm room he was trapped in alone. more trapped in his mind than the room. ever since michael had left, all luke wanted to do was to destroy everything. he already had emotionally, might as well literally destroy everything.

   luke pulled out the drawers containing michael's well worn shirts, running his fingers over the material slowly, trying to calm himself down. he hadn't just fucked up everything. michael was going to walk right back through that door and kiss him and tell him everything was going to be okay.

   everything was going to be fine.

at least, that's what luke tried to think as he slowly breathed in the light scent of michael traced behind on his shirts and sheets. to think only earlier today everything was fine between the two. beyond fine. everything was perfect, and yet it was all taken away.
   he needed michael to come back here so he could apologize and kiss his beautiful pink lips. but michael wasn't going to come back, not tonight at least. michael was slowly making his way to jack and alex's hotel room in the snow, chattering as his tears left frosty trails on his cheeks. luke wouldn't know that though.

   a week or two passed where michael lived with alex. jack had left to go home, so michael had been staying with alex in his house, since alex's family lived in baltimore. michael was a fucking wreck, and he knew it, and everyone else knew it, yet nothing changed. no one went to talk to him about it, because it only seemed to make the whole situation worse.

   alex's mom had tried in the first week, and its safe to say it ended badly.

"michael, you should go out around town. talk to a a few of the locals, make some new friends. maybe then you'll be able to for—" she began, but michael was out of the room in an instant, tears streaming down his face.

   because michael missed it. he missed the shades of blue that had swirled through the once again grey world. he missed the red he'd been introduced to, the beige and ivory, and even the green. he missed the way luke's voice sounded when he just woke up, and the feeling of his lips, and his little stubble that dotted his jawline. he missed his angular nose, and his soft hair. but most of all, michael missed luke's eyes and the beauty they had held.

   michael had fallen in love with luke's eyes when they'd hardly known michael's. michael had been in love when luke had hardly cared at all. michael had never strayed from luke's trust, but luke had ripped his in two. luke was like a wolf in sheep's clothing, and he had michael fooled down until the final second. how could he not have noticed that luke wasn't happy with him? why wasn't he good enough? why wasn't he ever good enough for everyone?

   you spend your whole life searching for something, and as soon as you find it, it tears you apart and doesn't give a shit about you. luke never called. he never tried to get michael's attention anymore. every memory he had with luke was tainted with disappointment. he was cheating on him with some other girl. as much as michael wanted to give up everything and try and start over with someone else, no one would share luke's eyes. no one could make him feel the way luke did. no one would make him see color like luke did.

   michael sat up from his bed in the spare upstairs bedroom. he was so done. it was three a.m. and these thoughts always seemed to haunt his mind at this time of night. how he wasn't good enough. how no one would notice if he disappeared.