psychosis | soonhoon

16

||sO HAHA I'M SORRY MY FINALS ARE COMING AND I'M BEING REAL POO. It's literally next week so ):
I have a lot to do and I just want to cry but then crying wont solve anything so D:
I won't be updating in a while I guess? Maybe I'll update around November cause fINALS. And I need to get good grades cause it's an Asian thing cause if you get a b or c you'll become a bsian and csian. Also because, *whispers* my parents are really sensitive about it so yeah. I hope you understand ;-;
I came to conclusion that the only way to not get distracted is to uninstall Wattpad for the meantime cause exam not like I want to but still. Rip me I'm powerless without wattpad
Thanks for actually reading this, I'll try to improve my writing from now on [[[[: aaaaaANd I'm gonna spoil ya'll with an update first
bYE.||

-Bread

It was just another ordinary day in school until I noticed Seungcheol hyung staring at me during break time. It was quite scary. "Hey Soonyoung. Can I talk to you, in private?" He said as I looked at Jihun and he just looked up at me begging me with puppy eyes that he wanted to follow us. "Can't I bring-"

"Don't bring Jihun with us." He said,
he was quite harsh. I don't know what got into him. I mouthed an 'I'm sorry' to Jihun as I was pulled away by Seungcheol. Thank god he wasn't holding my left arm or not I would've shouted so loud and get into trouble, twice. I would be punished my teacher for being noisy and get scolded by Seungcheol and get cleansed by Joshua.

"What happened to this?" He said, grabbing my left arm as I let out a hiss on accident. "Shit sorry didn't mean to do it. Was it because of Jihun?" No.. Well yes??

"Or.. did you self harm?" He looked at me in the eye. Which was scary as hell.

"Why the hell would I self harm in the first place and ...no I just scratched myself too hard. That's why."

"These don't even look like scratches, Soonyoung. No one has fingernails that are that long."

"Jihun's one are-" shitshitshitshitshitshit.

"What is he, exactly? You should stop letting him sleep at your house, Soonyoung. He's hurting you. Or maybe just, stop all this." Stop what?

"No Seungcheol. I love Jihun and that's not gonna change. He didn't hurt me. Nothing hurt me but what you just said." Was all I said before running to the janitor's room to cry a little. I was upset. I love Jihun so much but no one can see that? Why is Seungcheol trying to stop me from loving him? I don't understand. Why is this happening again, I don't wanna be lonely like before. I hated seeing my parents fight all the time and now I just wanna live properly with someone by my side but someone else is trying to stop me? Why does like have to be like this. I should stop crying like this, what if Jihun finds me being-

"Soonyoung?" I heard Jihun's voice call from outside.

"Y-yeah?" I tried to think of happy things so I wouldn't cry more but it just made me think that all those times are gone and this was going to be regretful as well and it wasn't really helping the situation.

"Are you okay? Can I come in? Please?" He begged, he sounded like he was very worried.

"Soonie-" I unlocked the door before he could say anything and pulled him in and locked the door. He stared at me for a moment and he wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled me down to his chest. I bent down a little since he was shorter.
"What's wrong?" He said while patting my head. I didn't know how to start, I didn't want to hurt him.

After a while, I just collapsed because my knees were tired. Jihun gave me a worried look and I told him I was just tired. He responded with a small smile. "Look at me." He said seriously as his small hands cupped my face. "What is wrong? What did Seungcheol hyung do to you? Did he hurt you?"

"No.." I shook my head as he leaned closer and rested his forehead on mine. It was a really abnormal position. Both of us kneeling on the floor with his hands cupping my cheeks and him resting his forehead on mine. "Tell me, please?" He asked cutely.

"I'll ..be cute. For you." He said softly and knocked his nose on mine. His eyes begged me to tell him but I just couldn't find the right words to start and I just couldn't. Even though I really want to see him acting cute, I still can't tell him.

"No, I'm sorry. I can't tell you" I said calmly, taking his hands off of my face and squeezed them a little and looked at him in the eye. He looked, upset.
"Why not, Soonie?" I could tell he was trying not to sound upset which really hurt me. He looked down at both of our hands and intertwined his fingers with mine.

"Just.. not now, okay?"

"When will would tell me then?" He looked at me and tilted his head a little. Shit that's cute.

"I'll.. tell you if you stop asking."

"What? That doesn't even make sense" He frowned as he let go of me and folded his arms.
"Ha. You're so cute when you're cute" I messed up his hair and earned a smack from him.

"Why do you like to hit people so much?" I asked, pouting while looking down. I only got silence as a response. I looked up and- he was gone. He wasn't there and door was slightly open. How did he manage to leave without a sound and quick. Also, why did he leave?

I walked back to class to find Jihun. He must be in class, right?
"Have you seen-" there he was, talking to Jooheon.
"What?" Minghao asked.

"Oh nothing, I was gonna ask if you've seen Jihun" I said and got an 'oh' as a response.

"By the way, how long has Jihun been here?"

"Since coups hyung dragged you somewhere and confronted you about that. Why'd you cut yourself tho?" He pointed to my arm, frowning. That's- weird. Jihun was with me in the janitor's room. Is Minghao joking or?
"Yeah, Why'd you cut yourself?" Jun butted in. I didn't god damn it why does everyone think I cut myself. I'm not an emo shit or whatsoever.

"I scratched too hard and-"

"Your fingernails aren't even that long, Soonyoung." Jun interrupted as Minghao agreed.

"Yeah whatever cause I cut them that's why it's not long anymore. Had a mosquito bite okay" please buy it.

"Yeah well, that's true" both of them said at the same time and giggled. They giggled Ew. Right after that, they stopped talking to me and continued their conversation in their own world, speaking in their mother language and being all lovey dovey. I hated the fact I was alone all along but now, I've got Jihun. Now I'm, I'm just scared. Am I starting to imagine stuff? What if Jihun wasn't with me and it was just hallucination. Or maybe it was just a prank. "Okay boys and girls. Your mid term exam are coming up, you better study or else" Mr. Han said, walking into the classroom.

"Okay. So we will revise from chapter 5 to 9, got it?" Mr. Han asks as the whole class shouted a yes. Me, still deep in thought slowly fell asleep in class, sitting next to Minghao. Yes, Jooheon and I somehow changed back our places after three weeks.

-

I listened to music while doing the dishes and suddenly the music stopped followed by a pair of arms wrapping around my waist. It was Jihun. "Soonie. Are you okay?" He asks, resting his head on my back. "Yeah, why? And, .." should I ask him if he was with me during break time? Yes.

"Hmm? And?"

"Were you, were you with me in the janitor's room during break time?" I ask as he let go off me.

"What do you mean?" I turned to face him as I finished washing the last plate and set it aside. He looked at me with a confused face.

"I was with Minghao and the others when you were talking to Seungcheol. Why?"

What?