psychosis | soonhoon

30

"why are you doing this?!" soonyoung stomps into the living room holding a bunch of papers.

"soonyoung? what are you- what the hell? give me that!" jihoon widens his eyes as he sees that the papers were his documents and notes on the machine he was going to set up soon.

"answer me. why are you doing this."

"to help you. to get what you really want. to escape. to leave."

"i want happiness, jihoon."

"there is so much more to this happiness that you're looking for, and staying here wouldn't give you any of that."

"no. you're wrong. this is my happiness. or was." soonyoung tosses the papers to the table infront of the couch jihoon was sitting on.

"what is wrong with you soonyoung?! can't you see i'm trying to save you?"

"if you want to leave. leave, lee jihoon. just go."

"kwon soonyoung-"

"staying here with you is my happiness. i can always create another of you when you leave." soonyoung huffs. he shouldn't have said that. he knows that. he regretted immediately, but his ego wasn't going to let him admit it so easily.

"so you're, you're saying i can be replaced just like that?" jihoon holds his incoming tears. his throat sore and dry.

"yes. most definitely." the taller says and jihoon almost chokes out a loud sob but holds back. he stands up and heads to the kitchen to get some water.

"that's right. just go."

-

jihoon chokes out a cry as he reaches the bathroom after drinking some water. how did this happen? why is soonyoung so obsessed with this place? why is he so afraid of leaving? is it jihoons fault for letting him stay for too long? because he took too long to figure out how to go back?

he knows soonyoung better than the man himself. he knows that soonyoung didn't mean it. he was surely hurt by soonyoungs words. but what hurts him more is the thought of soonyoung being left here alone and miserable, still convincing himself that he is still happy. he wants to see soonyoung happy. happy in the right way.

jihoon has been in the bathroom for about thirty minutes now, just bawling and wondering what to do while calming himself. outside the bathroom, there is a teary eyed kwon soonyoung sitting on the floor patiently waiting for jihoon. he felt really guilty. he said many things he didn't mean, many things that he himself felt hurt from saying. seeing and knowing that he hurt jihoon hurt him too.

soon, jihoon opened the bathroom door to see soonyoung leaning on the wall beside the door. jihoon quickly leaves, he didn't want to make the situation worse. he thought that he should just leave soonyoung alone. soonyoung chased after jihoon and pulled him into a hug.

"hoon-ah.." he says softly, sniffling a little. he turns jihoon around and looks at the shorter, eyes still glossy.

"i will go."

"r-really?" the other hiccuped, feeling his throat get dry again as he felt like bursting out in tears once again.

"yes, i'm so sorry baby. i didn't mean it what i said before.." soonyoung looks away, still embarrassed about how he acted before. he hears some soft sobs from the other. oh no. is jihoon crying again? soonyoung hates seeing jihoon cry. 

"w-wait, don't cry again- i didn't-"

"i know, soonyoung-ah. i'm not mad, or sad. i just wanna cry a little bit more." jihoon says, burying his head in soonyoungs shoulder, wiping off his tears on the others sweater.

soonyoung lets out a small relieved laugh, "oh.. everything will be fine. we are going to go through this together. we will leave together, hoon-ah."

-

"young-ah. we have to leave soon. be prepared!" jihoon yells while setting up some equipment outside his shared house with soonyoung.

oh, right. soonyoungs parents never truly existed in this world. it was just some memories brought back from his real life. this is one of the reasons why he would rather stay in this world than go back to the real world, although he doesn't belong here. jihoon and soonyoung met in the same way they did here in reality. everything was pretty similar aside from the fact that jihoon moved in just like that. jihoon wanted to test things out and have some fun while playing in this world because he knew it wasn't real. he thought everybody was aware that it wasn't real. little did he know everybody had memory loss except for him.

this was truly a bad idea. picking up this machine building kit from the garbage disposal and actually trying it out was probably not the brightest idea.

"hoon? did you call me?"

soonyoung steps outside and sees the bright sky. it was a sunny day. it was morning, he hears chirping birds outside and people doing recreational activities in the park across from their house. he liked this. he knows that everything in this world is basically sugarcoated. but he doesn't want to leave. that's why he stopped questioning jihoon about everything and started accepting this as his life. no matter how fake it was, he loved staying here, unbothered, with jihoon.

soonyoung smiles to himself as he enjoys the view from his doorstep. his smile doesn't disappear until he sees jihoon setting up this weird machine looking thing at their garden outside their house.

'so soon, too soon.' he thinks to himself and closes his eyes.