bad idea [A&A]

t h i r t e e n

Yesterday, was the worst day of my life, and here I am being all depressed and upset. My life was supposed to be happy and exciting,  but no! I lay down on my bed with tears in my eyes. My phone keeps beeping and beeping, I ignored it. I want the world to leave me alone. I continue sobbing into my pillow, I just want to stay in my bed and sob. 

30 minutes later....

I decided to get up and head out for a little bit. I pull the covers away from me. I gather up a pair of grey sweat pants, with a black sweat shirt, and a pair of black conserves. I didn't even bother messing with my hair. I look at my phone, more and more notifications from Instagram and Twitter even iMessage messages from Austin, Trish, and Dez. 

I went downstairs, instantly exit out of my house. Everywhere I look is darkness. The clouds, the way the wind hits you, but it's not like a pretty breeze, it was like a slap to your face. I put my hoodie up, I don't want the world to see me. Why am I even in this world? What's the point of being here if your life will never get better? I texted Austin something that will probably change me forever. 

Austin. 

Goodbye Austin forever. 

I put my phone back in my pocket, and head somewhere I can be alone forever. Tears start rolling down my cheeks as I'm walking. My dad is gone. I wasn't there to save him. ITS YOUR FAULT ALLY. ITS YOUR FAULT! I closed my eyes, I can hear voices saying negative words to me. 

I want to scream to the top of my lungs. I want to throw something. I want to hurt myself. I wipe the tears away from my eyes, and watch the outside world become depressing. Austin replied back. 

Austin. 

What are you talking about Ally??!

I'm leaving Earth. Goodbye. 

I grabbed the knife I got from the kitchen, I sit down on a brick building, I take my hood off, my world has been nothing but perfect, I'm done. I had enough. I can feel the sharp blade on my skin, in a way it felt good. I can see my blood, I start to smile, it felt so good. 

45 minutes later....

All I remember is cutting myself, now where am I? I open my eyelids, blink them a couple of times, and look around the room. I see Austin sitting next to me. "A-Austin?" He pulls up to me. "Ally, you are okay. We are all here. Everything is going to be okay" I sit up, I see my arm all wrapped up, what happened when I was out? "Austin, what happened?" He hesitated. "You cut yourself" I lay back down feeling my heart breaking. Why would I do that to myself? 

I sit back up hearing the door opening. It was the doctor. "Miss Dawson, everything is going to be okay, you don't have no serious injuries, but you do have to let your arm heal for a couple of days" I look over at my arm. "Will I be okay?" I said with so much fear in my voice. "Yes, you will. Now if you excuse me" The doctor leaves, I lay back down with so much anger in me. 

"Ally?" "Austin, don't" He rolls back to Trish and Dez who was both asleep. I hate my life. I wish everything was gone and I was too. Everything about my life has been pain and suffering from the beginning. 

***

I doze off from the car ride, I open my eyes seeing if I am home or not. I look all around, I was in my room safe and sound. My body rolls over, I see a note. I unscrambled it. 

Hey Ally, it's Austin. I just wanted to tell you everything is going to be okay. Your life is great. Your dreams will come true, I know it will. You are so talented, I know you can make as a superstar one day. If you think nobody believes you, I do. I always had and always will believe you. If you die, then I will have nothing, nobody I care about. You have to live, things can still turn for the best. You are the best friend I can ever have well except for Dez but you know what I mean. Don't give up Ally, you still have fight in you, I can see it. You are strong. ~Austin. 

I smile, if there is one person I want to be in my life forever, it's Austin. I fold it back up, and put it back on my night stand. I decided to go to sleep. I close my eyelids, waiting for the next day to come. 

"Thank you Austin for the letter, you are the best" here I am standing there next to Austin. "You're welcome Ally, listen to me. You are a caring, wonderful person, don't let anybody tell you otherwise. Don't give up, you still have a future head of you" I smile, went up to him, and kissed him, putting my hand down on his neck. His kiss felt so good to me, everything disappears when I am with Austin, nothing is wrong in life when I kiss him. Electricity, sparks, everything that I wanted to feel is right here in this moment. I pull away. "Thank you" I whispered. 

I wake up wanting that dream to be true so badly. Every time, I have a dream about Austin, it's hurts me so much, I want him. Kira doesn't care about him one bit, why is Austin with Kira? He should be with me, I care about him. I will always be on his side. 

I can't believe this, but I think I'm in love with him. 

I love Austin. 

***

{i know this chapter sucks. but I ran out of ideas so bear with me. More chapters coming up asap, thanks guys. love you each and every one of you} <3333