This account has been hacked by Voldemort.
My name is Tom Marvolo Riddle, the heir of Salazar Slytherin. I am considering on making this book a Horcrux. I am willing to answer any questions, even from muggle filth like you, to preserve the soul of m...
FluffleDragon asked/demanded: "I dare you to ask a muggle girl to marry you. IT HAS TO BE A MUGGLE OR I WILL-- Ahem, sorry. Just do it. *grabs popcorn* -Narwhal." ~•~•~•~•~ *Owldemort flies in, throwing rice everywhere and anywhere*
Dear Narwhal,
Solely for the reason that you are one of the very few rare people that I consider to be my friend, I grudgingly accept your idiot dare.
Cringing my way through the Muggle streets, wand in my pocket (because you never know when you need to Avada Kedavra someone, I find myself in front of a Muggle coffee shop. Because I read once, and I quote, "the coffee shop is the place to pick up chicks". As if I have any interest in picking up chicks. I'd much rather pick up a book on Dark Magic and learn about illegal hexes and curses.
So I went inside and ordered a coffee. Of course, when my Double Ristretto Venti Half-Soy Nonfat Decaf Organic Chocolate Brownie Iced Vanilla Double-Shot Gingerbread Frappuccino Extra Hot With Foam Whipped Cream Upside Down Double Blended, One Sweet'N Low and One Nutrasweet, and Icearrived, the barista, Erica, completely impaled my name. Look at this.
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Voldiddlemort.
Do I look like a bloody Voldiddlemort to you, Erica? Or should I say, Airwrecka?
Ugh. Muggles.
Anyways, I was walking outside with my coffee in hand, laughing at the stupidity of Mudbloods, right?
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And then I spotted this Muggle girl, carrying an tray of coffee cups. I offered to help her and we started having a fairly decent conversation. Then I used my charm and said,
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Then she laughed and said, "Aw, that's cute. I'll give you my number. Hold on, I have to put these coffees in the car. I have more coffees coming."
Like the complete gentleman I am, I offered to carry the coffees to her car while she waited on her next order of coffees.
I set the tray of coffees carefully in the seat of the car. Then I remembered my dare so I finally popped the question with a can of spray paint.
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I proceeded to hide in a bush as she walked outside, balancing another tray of coffees in her hand.
And Narwhal, you should've seen the look on her face when she saw my question. I swear, I've never laughed so hard in my life. I was crying.
She started screaming about "20,000 DOLLAR CAR" and "IT'S A RENTAL" and about a hundred artistic words to describe the situation. Mind you, there were children around, and this crazy woman was screaming bad words from the top of her lungs.
I know what you're thinking. You think that I'm the crazy one. Perhaps you're right, Miss Narwhal. I went too far with this dare. But what else can I do? I'm bored out of my mind. There's nothing to do in Hogwarts except the same old everyday boring "release the Basilisk unto the Muggle-borns" routine.
All in all, it didn't think it was too bad of a dare. Although, she never did answer my question, which is unfortunate. I'm guessing she said yes? What do you think?
