Broken Fangirl [m.c]

Chapter Twenty Six

I woke up in my bed, I suppose Matt had carried me in. The time was 8 in the morning, I woke up at 5 and haven't been back to sleep since. The nightmares and flashbacks are all too much.

This situation is once again, reminding me all too much of my childhood.

"Eli, you awake?" Matt came in my room and whispered.

"Yeah." I said.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

This time when he asked, I let everything go.  I cried and cried as he hugged me, trying to calm me down.

"I want to talk." I said.

"Okay, go ahead."

"I haven't been honest. My thoughts are usually pushed to the back of my mind, never to be seen of again. But because of all this, I can't quit thinking about it." I said.

"Thinking about what?" He asked

"My childhood. Nobody knows about this except for close family and friends. I've never told anybody about it before."

"Okay, go ahead. You can tell me anything, therapist Matt on duty." He said, trying to make me laugh.

"I haven't thought about any of this for awhile. But, my dad. Oh, my dad. I remember him being sober for one day out of all the other memories I had of him... Only one day. I remember, he took me to the park and we ate ice cream together and swung on the swing set. He almost broke it. We were laughing together, it was a good time." I smiled.

"That's... a good memory to hold onto." Matt said.

"But one good memory tends to get drowned out with the hundreds of bad memories." I sighed.

"What do you mean?" He said.

"I remember waking up every morning to my dad passed out in the recliner with beer bottles scattered everywhere, and my mom smoking at least 3 packs of cigarettes a day, always doing something at the kitchen table, until I was ready to go to school." I said. "My dad wasn't a friendly drunk, either. He was a hardcore alcoholic. He'd punch walls, doors, windows. Throw beer bottles at us. I found out later on that my mom was usually too strung out on drugs to care."

"Eli, that sucks so bad. Please tell me you didn't live like that all your life?"

"No. Both of my real parents are dead now. My dad died in a car accident while he was drunk, and killed a new mother. I'll never forgive him for that, even though he's dead. My mom overdosed on heroin. Turns out, while my dad was an alcoholic, she was a drug addict. Lovely family, am I right?" I chuckled slightly. It was so sad it was almost funny.

"Eli..." Matt said.

"So at the age of 5 I was almost stuck with nobody. I almost got put into foster care, until my superhero came along. My granddaddy." I smiled. 

"My grandpa was my lifeline. He was like my new dad, he was so disappointed in his son, he made his best efforts to look after me. My grandma was the same way, they were basically my new parents, they had custody of me. My life with them was so much better than the life I used to have. Honestly; it was a good childhood from then on." I said.

"That's amazing that they turned your situation around, then. Were you happy?" He asked.

"Incredibly happy. I got good grades in school, made tons of friends. But then, my grandpa died of an unexpected massive heartattack. Michael knows this part, about my grandpa dying. He didn't know I lived with him, or anything else, though." I sighed.