Tears, Déjà Vu and Old Memories

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Iris's POV

I stared at my dad as the situation sank in. The worst possible scenes start to flash in front of my eyes. I felt like disappearing into thin air.

"Iris Rose Fall?" The inspector asked.

"It's me" I whispered. I couldn't speak. Everything inside me was breaking. The whole world and my cheerful self that I had built up in the last 3 years was breaking again.

"Miss, your mother was crossing a road when a careless driver hit her with his truck. The hit wasn't too extreme and she is safe. She's currently in the hospital now. And don't worry, she's fine. The inspector spoke.

"She's not fine" Dad whispered

"What?" The inspector asked.

"I SAID THAT SHE'S NOT FINE!" Dad shouted.

It felt like déjà vu. I had seen this before. I've felt like this before. So broke.

Dad held the policeman by his collar and whispered into his ear, "She's not fine". And with that said, he broke down crying.

I couldn't really believe that I was still standing on my two feet.

"Which hospital?" I uttered.

"St. Luke's Hospital" The inspector said.

Without another word, I grabbed the car keys from the shelf and ran towards the car, pushing aside the officers and my dad.

I sat in the car, switched it on and tears started forming in my eyes.
No. I need to be strong. The old memories just always hit me like a brick. I couldn't get over my elder brother's death, not even till today.

We were joined at the hip, as people said. Though we fought a lot, hiding things, pushing each other, having small wrestling matches, but it was just wonderful. He was 6 years elder than me. But that never caused him to think of me as someone inferior. He always helped me in studies as well as everything I could imagine. He was my other half as a child.

Until one day. We were going to get ice cream. Mind you, he was a big fan of food, especially fast food like ice creams, burgers etc.

I was just almost 19 then and he was around 25. We were carefree, young and energetic.

We were crossing the road, and I was running, he was walking. I came across the road, only to turn and see him more than 3 feet in the sky, hit by a Van.

I didn't even know how to react. I instantly ran towards mum and dad and it was all blurry after that.

But I remember, a policeman coming and saying that there was to be some case. And I remember dad's eyes watery. And then, the policeman bickering with him. And him hitting the policeman.

In the hospital, he was declared 'Brought Dead'. But I knew, I knew that he wasn't dead. I felt his heartbeat. But probably, I was too 'dumb and little' to know anything.

I turned on the car and started to drive towards the hospital.

I won't let you go mum, never.

Within a minute or so, I was at the hospital. I rushed towards the desk.

"Mrs. Rose?" I asked the receptionist.

"Operation Theatre, critical" she replied in a blank tone.

Her words were unexpected. I wanted to hear that she was fine, resting in a room. But no! NO! God dammit! It has always got to be me!

I felt a tear slip down followed by another and the another one. Soon, I was full on crying. It was too much for me to hold at once.

I searched through the contacts to call dad and tell him to be here. I just needed someone who understood how I felt.

And before realising what I was doing, I hit call on his number.

Before I could even cancel the call, he picked up.

"Hey Princess!" He spoke enthusiastically into the phone.

And I instantly know I cannot handle anything. I hit the cancel button and end the call.

*

"Hello there Little Girl! I brought a doll, a princess for you!" Mum said

"Why mommy?" I was just 6 years old then.

"A princess for my princess!" She squeezed my cheeks and kissed my forehead.

*

Before I realized, I silently started to cry again. The flashbacks were the last thing I wanted.

*

"Lunch is ready kiddos!" Mom shouted.

"Coming!" Me and Eric said in unison.

"Who wants pancakes with chocolate syrup and bacon?"

"Me! Me!" My 12 year old brother, Eric pleaded.

"Me please mommy!" I begged with my best puppy eyes.

"1 for each!" She resolved yet another small issue of ours.

Stealing, bickering, sticking out tongues and fighting, we ate every meal.

"Kiddos! Dadda is here!" We heard dad say.

And within a minute, he was engulfed in our bear hugs.

Me, mum, Eric and dad.  A happy family. Or so it used to be.

*

The Operation Theatre's red light turned green indicating that the operation is over.

A couple of doctors and 5 or so nurses walked out.

"What happened doctor? How is mum? What happened? She's gonna be alright, yeah?"

And his eyes answered my question.

And that's when my perspective towards life changed.

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