Falling Unintentionally

Chapter 23

I can't sleep at all. Not even a wink. Why? Why? Because you don't want tomorrow to come. My lips still tingle, and my stomach is filled with butterflies. You don't want to think of not seeing him again. You want to be together, you just don't want to risk your heart. Why must we think like this, it is torture! I guess it's true though. I do dread tomorrow. Austin leaves, and with him, a chunk of my poor, innocent heart.

My hand came up, and I touched my lips. They really were still tingling. I came to bed an hour ago, according to my clock, yet it still tingles. I moved my hand to my heart. It was hammering away, at the thought of how I feel around Austin. Why must he do this to me? It makes tomorrows impending farewell harder.

"Oh what shall I do, what shall I do?" I whispered, into the quietness that is my room.

I looked to my clock, it read '22:59'. Wow, its eleven already? I may as well get out of bed for a bit, maybe head down to the kitchen or something. So I tossed aside my duvet, and carefully slipped out of bed. I slid into my slippers, and made my way out.

As I headed through the hallway, I noticed a small amount of light from the guest room, Austin's room. The door was a little open, so I peaked in. He was on his phone, doing something. I guess typing a text, or something like that, looking at how his hands moved. His lips were pursed, so it must have been important, whatever it is.

I accidently pushed the door, and it made a small noise. I was quick like lightning, and moved, as Austin did too. I slowly shuffled away, as quietly as possible, in case he came out and looked. I felt my back bump into one of the pot plants, and squatted behind it. Just in time, too. Austin poked his head out of the door. Thankfully, he didn't spot me. What would I do if he did?

After he went back into his room, I waited for a couple of seconds, making sure it was clear to move. Once I deemed it clear, I hurriedly tiptoed away, and went down the stairs, to the kitchen.

I made my way carefully, though the dark kitchen, and opened a draw. From it, I pulled out a small battery powered lantern. I switched it on, and sat it on the bench. I then grabbed some bread, mayo, cheese, and chicken, from the various places they belong. I felt like I should eat something. If only we had some turkey, that would surely make me sleepy.

I sat down on a stool, eating slowly, as I continued to contemplate life, and Austin. I put my sandwich down on my plate for a moment, considering getting up to get a glass of milk or water. Then I saw it lift up itself. But it wasn't on its own. I turned to see Austin take a big bite out of it.

"Hey!"

"Hi to you, too." Austin said, his mouth full.

I glared at him. "Give it back, now, Austin, before I have to castrate you." I said through gritted teeth, as I watched him eat my precious food.

He shoved the rest of my sandwich in his mouth, all the while still managing to smirk at me. Again, with food in his mouth, he spoke. "Come get it."

"Eww, no." I whisper-shrieked. I wasn't going to be the one responsible for waking up mom and Sam, not today, not ever.

Austin swallowed. "Awe, why not? Don't you like me enough to go baby bird on me?" He said, grinning.

I slapped him on the shoulder. "Why are you so disgusting?" I asked, not expecting an answer anytime soon.

"Why did you threaten to castrate me?" He shot back, still smirking. It was like it is a permeant feature on his face. That's when he decided to cage me in, with his arms on the bench, behind my back. His body ended up coming closer to mine. We were almost breathing the same air.

My heart began to thunder in my chest all over again, and the butterflies woke up into dragons. I could feel my breath becoming ragged. I tried to say the next thing in as straight a voice as possible. "You ate my food. For all you know, there could have been a dose of oestrogen in there. But I am glad I won't have to put up with your PMS. You can suffer with you own breasts." I said, smirking back, though I was a romantic-nervous wreck on the inside.

"Oh, so I am going to grow a pair of boobs? Sick! I cannot wait." He said, moving one of his hands from the bench behind me, to 'cup' his imaginary boob. He coincidently leant in closer.

"Austin, what are you doing?" Both his arms were caging me again.

"What exactly do you mean, Sarah?" He said. I could now feel his warm breath fan my whole face. His gaze had been holding my eyes, but they dropped to my lips. I kept my eyes on his.

"Nothing is going to happen between us, Austin. Can you get that through you head?"

"Shush, Sarah. You already said those exact words. Have you ever tried to live in the moment?" When he said that, I knew what he was about to do. This time I was prepared though.

As I had expected, he leant in the whole way, and started to kiss me, but this time I responded by doing nothing at all. I resisted the urge to kiss him, no matter how much it pained me.

He moved his lips on mine, but I wouldn't give. He moved from my mouth, to kissing down my neck. It felt nice, but I wasn't budging. I have told him no, but he won't listen. Now he is trying to get me to kiss him, to be with him, but there is no point. I will not go out with him, I cannot take the distance.

He stopped kissing me, and looked into my eyes. "Sarah, why must you be so stubborn. I get why you don't want this, but I want it. I will even pay for you to visit me each month, or I will come here each month. Maybe on rotation. You want this, Sarah, I know you do. So give me, us, a shot."

"No, Austin, I can't. I need to be focused on my school work, not on a boyfriend who lives in the next state. You're just going to be a distraction to me. I cannot take the pressure. So, just give up on me, Austin. We can stay in touch, but only as friends. Take it or leave it."

He sighed deeply. "It doesn't work like that, Sarah. I will never give up on you, on what we could have, as I believe." He said, before cupping my face with both hands, his head resting on my forehead. We were in this position, in silence, for a few minutes. Not one word. I guess eventually, we would have to break away.

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A/N

Okay, to begin with, I have some good news, and some bad news...

Bad news first: I won't be updating for atleast a month... maybe more. 

Good news: I'm doing NaNoWriMo YWP! Follow me at Kind_Broken_HEART if you're trying the challenge too!

I intend to rewrite a previous story, seeing as  the idea I came up with a few months ago, I have started already thanks to a friend.

However, even after NaNoWriMo, I can't guarentee when I'll post again. I will as soon as I can, don't worry.

So thats that,

Until next time,

~Blabsie