How I See You

Chapter 12 - Alyssa here.

Alyssa here.

I thought that turning down Will Palmer was a good idea. How was I so stupid?

Every girl in the whole school is after him and he hung out with me. He kissed me! And I said no?

I don’t know what’s wrong with me now. Suddenly I don’t care if my parents will find out. And if I’m a nerd, then so what? Will said it didn’t matter. And Avril . . ? She can get stuffed.

But he’ll be annoyed if I go back to him. How do I even start the conversation? And where will I find him? I really don’t want to go up to the door and have to face his parents and ask for him, then for him to appear all annoyed, or too formal and stiff, or maybe not even appear at all.

Every night I tell myself that the next day I’ll call him. I tell myself everyday at school. And when I get home. But I can’t even bring myself to look at his name in my phone.

I’m scared. Terrified, actually.

I don’t know what he’s going to do.

At school Avril keeps her distance, but still shoots me dirty looks. I take it Will didn’t get together with her then, or she’d be boasting and strutting around like she owned the place.

“I wish she would stop staring,” Zara mutters darkly.

We’re behind a bookcase in the library stretched out on the floor doing Chemistry homework. As well as flinging dark looks at us, Avril and her girlfriends have taken to following us around the school at a distance and spying. Avril has been walking around the library for ages and we’ve been in hiding, but eventually she found us and parked herself on a table a few metres away. We can still see each other through the book shelves.

Myra appears with her History report, and flops down beside me, then looks down at my book.

“You take that too seriously,” she comments tonelessly, then gets out a mirror and brush and starts to comb her sleek, black hair.

Zara rolls her eyes at me discretely, shaking her head, and I look down at my work.

“Avril and Talia and Cherice are looking over here.” Myra peers around the bookcase. “What’s got them so worked up about you? Why do you keep annoying them?”
Anger sparks inside of me and I look up at her, to meet her shiny gaze.

“I haven’t done anything to them,” I hiss.

She shrugs, then raises her eyebrows. “No need to get worked up. I just thought you had. Anyway. There’s a party this weekend at Leanne’s house. You should go, Alyssa. You too, Zara. I mean, when’s the last time you guys have been to a party? I heard that some guys are going from the boys’ school and it’s gonna be so fun.”

I start to write again, digging the nib of the pen into the page slowly and sharply. “Go knock yourself out. I don’t really want to go.”

Firstly, I hate parties. Loud music, alcohol, too many people, enclosed spaces, bright lights, and . . . opportunists. Parties scare me.

And I don’t like Leanne. She’s one of those that want to be an Avril. She pushes her way through life and follows the crowd and has no brain whatsoever.

“I’ll give it a miss too,” Zara says coolly, closing her book as the bell rings.

Myra stares at us incredulously. “What do you mean? Are you joking? God, you’re both so boring sometimes. Everyone is going!”

“Big deal,” Zara mutters as we stand up.

Myra shakes her head. “I knew this was going to happen. Tai, like, owes me ten pounds. I told him you weren’t going to come.”

“Tai’s going?” Zara’s eyes suddenly fill with attention.

I press my lips together firmly, and start to walk past Avril. I don’t look at her or any of them. But I can feel all their eyes on me.

“Yeah,” I hear Myra say behind me. “He was the one who said you two should come. I bet him ten pounds you guys wouldn’t.”

Zara clears her throat and then joins my side trying to shrug carelessly. She doesn’t pull it off.

“Hey, Myra,” I hear Avril call out in a sing-songy, innocent voice.

I hear Myra reply in an excited, honoured way. Yeah, big deal. Queen of Bitches said hi to you. I can almost see Myra’s eyes now, with the sheepish, wide, shiny look.

We get out of the library hurriedly, Myra following at a leisurely pace. She then disappears to her gym class and we head over to Chemistry.

“So, Tai, huh?” I smile slightly, holding my chin up.

I hear Zara snort beside me. “What about him?” her voice echoes off the empty corridor.

I look at her and roll my eyes. “You seemed interested when he was mentioned.”
She pulls an ‘as-if’ face.

I continue to stare at her, my eyebrows raised, and then she sighs heavily, and stares ahead, adjusting her bag strap.

“Okay. So maybe he’s cute?” She smiles slightly.

I grin broadly.