Heart of Darkness

Chapter Four

Seventh Year

Tom and I sat in the library, studying for NEWTs. I leaned over a book, my head resting on my hand. I looked up when Tom sighed.
He leaned his chair back onto the back legs, flexing his neck. "This is exhausting." He said. His hair was ruffled from running his hands through it.
"Yeah, but you gotta do what you gotta do."
"You needn't. When I'm done, you can get into the depths of Gringotts with just a look."
"Sounds mysterious."
He smiled. "Shall we call it a night?"
"Sounds good."
When we got back to the common room, it was deserted.
"Tired?" He asked.
"No."
We sat down on the couch. "I'm not ready to leave." I said quietly.
"Leave?"
"Hogwarts."
"Why?" He looked at me weird.
"It's more of a home than anything else."
"You never cease to amaze me."
"You never cease to amaze me." I countered. "I still fail to see how you don't love it here."
He shrugged. "I don't know."
"What happens once we leave? To us."
"Hopefully, we'll still be."
I smiled. That's what I had wanted to hear. "Okay."
He leaned forward and kissed me. I kissed him back, but then he kept kissing me. I let it happen. It was weird, but it was nice.
"No no." I said as he started slipping my jacket off of my shoulder. "I'm not ready. Sorry."
He gave me a smile as he sat up. "It's okay, love. I'm ready when you're ready. Hope you're ready soon." He winked.
I laughed. "Yeah, well. Good luck with that." I sat up, leaning against him.

I got all Os on my NEWTs. So did Tom.
That night, he took me up to the top of the Astronomy tower. "Take a look." He said.
"At what?"
"Everything. See it?"
"Yes." I said, but it came out questioningly.
"I'll make you queen of it all, and more. And, as I promised." He reached over my shoulder and dangled two slips of paper in front of me.
"Weird Sisters tickets?" I smiled.
"Yes. Bring whomever you wish."
"Are you saying you won't come?"
"No. I just thought you might want to bring a friend."
"I don't have friends." I laughed.
"Was that an invitation?"
"Yes."
"I'd be delighted." He smiled, draping his arm around me.
"Can we go on a walk?"
"It looks like it's about to rain."
"I know. But we're leaving tomorrow..."
"We'll go on a walk." He smiled.
We walked around the Great Lake for a good hour before the raindrops started falling.
"Inside?" Tom asked.
"It's only sprinkling. Haven't you ever wanted to dance in the rain?"
"No."
"Party pooper." I said as we started walking back inside.
"It's going to pour." Tom said, and then it did.
He grabbed my hand and started running. I smiled up into the sky as I ran after him.
I started crying as soon as we got inside.
"What's wrong?" He asked.
"I don't want to grow up."
He smiled and kissed the side of my head. "Then don't."
We got into the common room, our clothes dripping. It was deserted--it was three in the morning, though, so it wasn't unusual. He took off his shirt and wrung it out, giving me a pointed look.
"Okay, so it rained a little harder than I'd thought." I consented.
"A little?"
"Yes. I'm gonna change, I'll be right back."
I ran up the stairs and changed quickly before coming back downstairs. I waited for him to return in dry clothes.
I was sitting by the fire when he came back. He draped a blanket around my shoulders before joining me.
"Hey, Tom?" I finally asked after a while.
"Yeah?"
"I'm not sure I like you working in Borgin and Burkes. Knockturn Alley is... strongly affiliated with Dark Magic..."
"I won't be much longer. I'm going to travel when I leave here."
I nodded. "Okay. Good. Sorry."
"Would you like to join me?"
"I would like to, yes. I don't know if I can, though."
"Whatever you chose is fine. Why couldn't you?"
"Headmaster Dippet asked me to teach Arithmancy."
"You hate mathematics."
"I hate Muggle mathematics." I corrected. "I've been taking Arithmancy since third year."
"I thought you like Muggles."
"I like Muggles, just not mathematics." I laughed.
"I see." He smiled. "Well, I'm sure you'd be a great teacher." He kept looking at me.
"Thank you. I think I'm going to go to bed, though."
He stood up as I did. "Goodnight." He said. "I love you." He said, but I knew he didn't.
"Yes. You too." I kissed his cheek, resisting the urge to shudder.
I went up to bed, realizing for the first time that something had changed. Tom wasn't Tom anymore. He was colder, and I didn't like it. Something was off.
I wasn't going to travel with him. I didn't want to be alone with him if I didn't have to be. Something was very wrong.
Once I was sure Tom was asleep, I snuck up to his dormitory to get my cousin. "Huh?" Al said, sitting up.
I slapped my hand over his mouth. "Sh!" I hissed. "Come with me."
I half pulled him from the room and down to the common room.
"What the hell, Angelica?" He asked, now alert.
"Will you sit with me and Tom on the train tomorrow?"
"What?"
"On the way home. Will you sit with me and Tom?"
"Why?"
"Just... please?"
"Fine."
"Thank you." I hugged him. "Goodnight."
"Are you kidding?" He asked as I turned and went up to my dormitory.
I laid in bed, tears leaking from my eyes. Something was wrong, but I didn't want to ask.
I remembered what he told my family a few years ago. The "complete annihilation or subjugation" of Muggles and Muggleborns.
That was him then. But now that he's like this, does that mean it will be worse?