Heart of Darkness

Chapter Twenty-Three

Mum,
How's your job? Are you still enjoying it? How's Harry? And Hermione and Ron?
I've been thinking lately. I'm really sorry for how I was. I never really appreciated all you did, and I'm so sorry. I really do appreciate everything.
Also I'm sorry about all the times I've disappointed you, and I'm sure you're not any less disappointed now. I never thought about how what I did would hurt you. I'm so sorry.
You could have called me out on my selfishness, you know. I would have tried to change. I really would've.
I'm truly sorry.
Love,
Padfoot

Padfoot,
Don't apologize. I'm not disappointed. I'm not angry. I love you.
Do you need me to come home?
Harry, Ron and Hermione are all doing just fine. Harry's mentioned some strange dreams, but I'm sure it's nothing to worry about.
If you don't answer within a day I'm coming to you anyways.
Xo
Mum

I'm fine, Mum. You needn't come home.
Love,
Sirius

I don't like you being there by yourself (or in general). I'll come visit after the OWLS, okay?
Xo,
Mum

Remus comes by sometimes. I'm okay. You don't have to make a special trip for me.
Wish them good luck.
Love,
Padfoot

I administered the OWLS, but before that, more than you can imagine happened.
Arthur Weasley was attacked by Voldemort's snake, Nagini. But Harry saw in Voldemort's mind, so Arthur was rescued.
This also led to Snape having to give Harry Occlumency lessons. I'd offered, but Dumbledore wanted Snape to do it because he'd be extra hard on the boy. I finally agreed that that was probably for the best, no matter how much Harry and Severus hated it.
(Severus is pretty high on my "To Punch" list. I think I forgot to mention him in my former list. The asshole wouldn't give a shit about Harry if he hadn't loved Lily. In fact, he'd still be a Death Eater if it weren't for that prophecy.)
Umbridge fired Sibyl, but Dumbledore managed to keep her on campus and hire Firenze to teach Divination. Normally I'm not a fan of that class, but currently it was pissing Umbridge off, so I'd take it.
Somebody told Umbuidge about Harry's Dumbledore's Army, and Dumbledore took blame for it, the fool. So he had to leave, leaving Hogwarts entirely unprotected.
On top of Dumbledore leaving, Umbridge also fired Hagrid. Not only did she fire him, she brought Aurors to attack him. Minerva and I tried to intervene, but ended up Minerva having to go to St. Mungo's.
Fred and George left with a bang, dramatic as always.
I administered OWLS at the beginning, but I was truly worried about Sirius, so I left two days before it was over.
I went back to Grimmauld Place and that stupid portrait of my cousin started screeching about a blood traitor being in her house and I heard pounding footsteps.
Sirius and Remus skidded around the corner, both of them hugging me. They kissed either of my cheeks at the same time.
"How long'd it take you guys to think up that one?" I laughed, hugging them.
"Just through breakfast." Sirius smiled.

As I was making dinner the next day, there was a rapid knocking at the door.
"Got it!" Sirius yelled.
"Snape?" I heard him say shortly after the door was opened.
Why would Severus be here?
I went to join them.
"Black? You're here?"
"Yes, I live here. Why are you here?"
"You're not at the Ministry?"
"No. Why should I be at the Ministry?"
"What's going on, Severus?" I interrupted.
"I think we have a problem." Severus says.

So we went to the Department of Mysteries. Sirius was just happy to be outside those four walls, I knew.
I only let him come because he begged.
I Stunned the shit out of Yaxley, and it felt good.
I turned around just in time to see Sirius fall through the veil and hear Bellatrix cackling.
"Sirius!" I screamed.
I was running at my niece, not the veil. I knew I couldn't get Sirius back, but by God, I was going to kill that bitch.
Remus grabbed me, making us spin 360 degrees to keep from falling over.
"Aunt Angie!" He yelled, as he held me back. "Aunt Angie, please!"
"No!" Harry yelled, running towards the veil, not Bellatrix.
Remus released me to grab him. Remus held Harry back, but, in reality, it was probably Harry holding Remus back.
I pointed my wand at that insufferable little bitch, but she disappeared.
I had barely noticed Voldemort coming, too preoccupied with staring at the veil. I didn't notice him leaving, still too preoccupied.
Had that really happened?
Was my baby really... gone?
I started to cry. I sat down on the floor and closed my eyes against everything. My baby was gone.
Nymphadora Tonks came up to hug me. She sat down beside me and stayed there.
When I heard Ginny talking to Harry, I mumbled a thanks to Tonks and found Remus standing in front of the veil, reaching his hand out.
"Quit that!" I snapped.
I should have made Sirius stay at Grimmauld Place.
He jumped away and turned to me. "Aunt Angie--" He began, but he said no more.
I pulled him away from the veil and wrapped him in a hug.
Then there was one.
He was crying. This was the little boy I'd seen cry twice. He never cried at full moons, I'd never seen him cry at deaths. But he broke down now, and so did I.
"It's all right, sweetheart." I whispered shakily after a while, kissing the top of his head and stroking his hair. "It's gonna be okay."
Would it be, though?
Without Sirius, who would be around to make you pancakes and put chocolate chips in the shape of a smiley face on them for your birthday (or any day he woke up early)? Who would make jokes when you're feeling down?
My baby was dead.
"I'm sorry, Aunt Angie." Remus pulled back and looked at me, shaking like Sirius had been when he'd come to tell me about James.
"Me too, baby."
After I'd taken leave of them and gotten the kids back to school, I went to see Minerva in the hospital. I didn't know where else to go.
She was conscious when I got there, but she looked horrid, so I just said I was stopping by to see how she was. She said she was good, so I went to find Hagrid in the mountains.
He put his arm around me while I cried and he blew his nose in his large handkerchief.

Umbridge was gone. Ask me, and I know nothing of it.
Unfortunately, though, she wasn't dead.
I could arrange that, though.
But that was illegal and made me no better than Voldemort, so I wouldn't do that.
But Sirius was dead, and you know who would get an earful?
Tom fucking Riddle.
So that's where I went.
"Hello." I said, letting myself in.
"Angelica, hello. I have a question."
"Ask." Asshole.
"I saw you attacking one of my Death Eaters. Why?"
"Because he was attacking my son and his godson. I want to kill your little whore." I spat.
"She's off limits, unfortunately. Though, if you reassure me of your loyalties, I may reconsider."
"Remember when I told you I hated you?"
"How could I forget?"
"Well, I'm repeating it. I. Hate. You."
"I didn't kill Sirius Black."
"But you were in charge of it."
"I only came for the prophecy and Harry Potter. Your nephew was what they call collateral damage."
And I punched him.
Of all the ways I could have hurt him, I punched him.
Of all the powerful people I could have punched, I chose the most powerful.
I'd always considered myself intelligent, but I took it back at that--the second time I punched Lord Voldemort. What was wrong with me? Merlin!
Actually, I wanted to kick him in the balls, but did he even have balls? He didn't have a nose...
"Do you have a dick?" I asked.
"Excuse me?" He asked, his hand on his face where I'd punched him.
"Have you a penis?"
"... Yes...?"
So I kicked him.
I must admit, it was fun to see him topple over.
I resisted the urge to cast a spell, because I knew if I was going to, it would be a bad one, and I knew that that wouldn't do anything. The bastard had Horcruxes.
"You'll die, Tom." I said.
I resisted the urge to kick him in the face, because that was low, especially after just having kicked him in the crotch.
"Harry Potter's going to kill you, and I'd hate to see where your soul goes."

"Professor?" Harry asked, slipping into my office.
"Harry." I stood up. "Hey. How are you?"
"I'm okay. I'm good." He nods.
"Have a seat." I gestured as I sat down.
He sat.
"Did you need something, sweetheart?"
"Yes. Um, well, I was thinking. I actually wrote a letter to Remus about it..."
"What's wrong, Harry?"
"I was thinking about Sirius."
"Okay." I prompted.
"He wouldn't want you to be upset."
I waited for him to continue.
"He wouldn't want you to be upset about it." He repeated. "So.. you should, you know, live your life. Not be upset."
"You're right, Harry." I smiled. "You're very right."

Angie,
You needn't be afraid to come back. I'm not angry, and I'd never hurt you. I can understand why you would wish to protect those you love, and I'm sincerely sorry about Sirius.
Please come home. I miss you.
Love,
Tom

I'm done.